Some Magics of the Heart
by Sheyshamra
Summary: This is slash and that too a less explored pairing of Elrond/Aragorn. Basically a story following Estel since his childhood till his death or whatever surprise end my brain may come up with. Rated K for now will become M rated for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

If ever there was a day that should rain, then this was it. The low gloomy thunder clouds hanging over Rivendale perfectly matched Elrond's mood. He stood as silent as a statue on the balcony of his room watching his beloved land getting drenched. His pale hands rested calmly on the low rails but his mind was anything but calm. Something was going on and the feeling of that premonition was so strong that he just couldn't sleep although it was midnight.

A sudden anxiety rose at his throat as he heard even before he saw riders approaching. A rider was running ahead of the rest of them, which simply meant one thing. Someone was wounded. The Lord of Rivendale in an involuntary gesture tightened his jaws. One day his sons are going to find him dead when they come back, just from sheer anxiety. He rushed to the healing chambers and lit the lamps. Chunwe, his assistant who slept in the wards, woke up and without a word took over where Elrond left. The lord gave him a greatful smile that died almost as soon as it began and walked towards the main hall. His sons have arrived and Elrond let out a breath as he saw both of them with all their limbs intact making their way towards the stairs.

"Elladan", Elrond called

Both his sons turned around in unison as if one of them carried an invisible mirror with him. Elrond always smiled when he saw his sons behave like that, but his smile faltered when he saw their faces. Elrohir had his brows furrowed and so did Elladan.

Elrond raised a brow, even as Elrohir started to speak.

"We lost Arathon ada. Orcs…"

"But you must come quickly ada" Elladan looked imploringly at him.

So there were wounded. Even as Elrond followed his sons, He remembered a respectable young man leaving Rivendale with a spring to his steps. Arathon always looked carefree in Rivedale.

The clouds were pouring their hearts out and Elrond heard a small wimper. Curious, he hastened his steps towards something Glorfindel was bouncing on his strong arms. Next he heard a childish giggle and Elrond's heart took a spin. _A child?_

"Arathon's son ada. Gilerian is with the rangers. And we thought it best to bring young Aragon with us here"

Ellandan's words said one thing but his voice said a hundred other things, Guilt, fear, anxiety but most of all an emotion as of yet unidentified when he said young Aragon. Elrond looked at his sons and saw that Elrohir if he had said the words would have sounded the same way as his brother.

Glorfindel turned as he heard them and Elrond had to smile as the balrog slayer grimaced as a lock of golden strands was pulled viciously by small hands. Another giggle escaped and suddenly Elrond forgot the rain. Hazel eyes turned to him and he locked eyes with the young boy, the rest of the world seemed to have disappeared. As sure as a bolt of lightning, Elrond knew that his life will never be the same again.

Those eyes looked at him imploringly for a minute and then in a sudden childish rush they widened impossibly. The small hands freed their golden prisoners much to Glorfindel's relief. If Elrond had looked around, he would have seen the hesitant smiles playing out on his sons' face, a miracle that has happened after 342 years. But Elrond was waiting and in a moment when two small arms reached out to him, he took a step forward and caught the child in a warm hug.


	2. Chapter 2

_Anyone interested in Beta reading for me? I couldn't figure out how to get a beta reader yet. _

_So far it's just the best of clichés. But soon, I intend to change that. How successful I will be remains to be seen._

The usual members on Elrond's household were running around the last homely. One was just then taking a tray with a glass of milk and some cookies to the halls of fire. True to its name the hall was lit by the blaze of a fire and Elladan and Elrohir were on the floor while The Elders were seated not far with their heads down in a serious conversation.

"We have to give him a name Elrond." The ever practical Erestor could be talking in a council meeting for all his calm.

Glorfindel nodded.

"Yes…" Elrond finally agreed and turned to the young boy who was now sitting on Elrohir's lap and was pointing to Elladan and saying "Dan" amidst giggles. "Elladan" Elrohir repeated and the small head with brown hair shook from side to side. Elrond could hear "Dan" said again amidst giggles.

"Say Elrohir" Elladan said in accented westron smiling at the boy.

"You might as well ask him to call me Ro, _Dan._ Wouldn't do to leave my brother alone in his fate will it."

Elrohir bent his head and pointing to himself said, "Ro"

The boy clapped his chubby hands and said "Ro" again while giggling.

Elrond's eyes misted as he saw his sons, his real sons who died the day Celebrian was attacked by orcs. Glorfindel gave him a soft smile and Erestor, well Erestor as always said the most practical things.

"I guess that's settled then, he can stay here I suppose and going by your sons', you just earned another brat to manage. Glorfindel, I want two of your men to come around the house tomorrow and move those armours at the stairs, wont do at all with a young child running around…"

Glorfindel just nodded and listened. Somewhere in the 144th year of their acquaintance, Glorfindel had seized to be surprised at Erestor.

Elladan looked up tiredly and asked, "Ada, is he even supposed to be awake now."

The object of their discussion was now staring at Elladan, while drinking milk held to his lips by Elrohir."

Elrond smiled, "yes he must be in bed, looks like he is going to give me as much grief as you both did. But first we must give him a name."

Elladan frowned and smiled again in a way that Elrond was again getting used to and said, "I know, let's call him Estel"

No one disputed that.

And Elladan went about pointing at the boy and making him say Estel.

Someone was knocking on his doors. Elrond shot up from bed and rushed to open. A frantic voice was calling, "Hir nin, please wake up."

Elrond opened the door and saw a maid looking tired and disheveled.

"The child sir." She said in a worried voice and turned to hurry down the corridor with Elrond at her heals. Even as Elrond ran, the screams could be heard. He can understand why a few elves were standing holding their ears.

Chunwe joined him from the healing wing with a small vial in his hands. As they reached the small room, Elrond realized that this was the room he had assigned for Estel temporarily. He also noticed a frantic ellieth, the one who was supposed to watch over Estel trying to placate him. Elladan and Elrohir joined their father, looking equally disheveled.

Elrond walked to the bed and saw that the child was clutching at the pillows and crying for his mother. Elrond softly touched the child's forehead and Estel opened his eyes. What Elrond saw was an immense amount of fear in those eyes that gripped at this heart. He himself was surprised when the fear dissipated on seeing him and two small hands extended out to him in the universal gesture of seeking comfort. Elrond took the child in his arms and all of a sudden silence ruled.

While every member of the house held their breath waiting to see if the silence would last. Estel rested his head on Elrond's chest and mumbled something that sounded like mother. Elladan whirled around and walked-out, Elrohir gave a helpless shrug and followed his brother.

"Are we doing the right thing?" Elladan was watching the stars.

"I don't know Elladan, we will have to wait and see." Elrohir was not sure about it either but he didn't want to say that to Elladan.

But somehow for both of them, their own lose that had been a huge boulder in their hearts until yesterdays seems to be a bit less intimidating; something that they don't have to run from anymore. Meanwhile, a little boy was drifting off to sleep to the song of an elvish lullaby. Elrond looked down at the head resting on his chest and the bold lashes that were fluttering close. One hand was slowly releasing its grasp on a beaded lock of hair. By the time Elrond walked to his own room with his precious bundle, the house was back in order.


	3. Chapter 3

_I am braving to continue with the story, but still no beta reader in sight. So all mistakes are mine, but please forgive me for these._

_I am attempting to write here a piece that defines love in such a way that's true for two people but still odd and of lesser value in the sight of others._

Elrond had seen countless children in his life time. But none had the air of vulnerability that Estel had. He told himself that it was the eyes and the entire situation of such a young child among so many grown up elves. He stopped thinking about it though when Glorfindel told him in his usual boisterous manner that they all feel the same.

"Ah, it's nice to have someone to look after and spoil after so long."

His own sons were finding the going tough. After all they were not as experienced as Elrond. In fact Elladan and Elrohir avoided Estel for a while but the child was persistent.

The first day of Estel life in Rivendale was an eventful one. First Estel after all the excitement of the previous day was too tired to wake up with Elrond. The lord just left him sleep in the warm bed and went about getting ready for the day. Estel was sound asleep when Erestor came and called him saying that there was a messenger from Lotherian. Almost at noon drowsy eyes finally opened, understandably they did not see what they want to see. What followed was the inevitable loud scream that somehow was disproportional to the size of the source.

Elladan who was fetching his bow dropped it in shock. But in a moment, Elrohir and Elladan braving the noise were at their father's door. Elladan fumbled with words, a poor imitation of his own father's, and Elrohir grabbed the child and tried to pat his back in an attempt to calm him down. Awkward as it was, it did work. Estel's cries died down to infrequent sobs and hiccoughs. Elladan pulled out a piece of jewelry from Elrond's table and dangled it in front of Estel. Soon loud giggles could be heard down the corridor. Given that Elrond was closeted with his advisors and the Lotherian messenger for a while, the only people left to take care of Estel were the maids. Elrond never went for protocol and encouraged his family and staff to do their work themselves. Now that seemed to be a problem because none of the servants or maids had the time to sit full time and take care of a small child.

And Estel was a happy two-year-old who had the skill to walk but not the intelligence to choose where. The Elrondions had played with him for a while after he woke up but gave him up to the maids to clean him and feed him. For a lack of anything else, Estel wore a cut-off tunic gladly given to him by one of the households. But even so, the tunic was too big for him. Even without the sleeves, it slid precariously down his shoulder and almost touched his foot in length. But none of this deterred little Estel from wandering off the first chance he got. When the maid went to get a needle and thread to sew up some part of his ridiculous tunic, Estel took off. An advantage of being little was that none would notice you unless someone was looking for you. Estel set off on his adventure and was soon admiring, touching and fumbling around the last homely. He carefully sat down the stairs and pushed himself step by step until he was in the gardens and walked to the horses. Now Elvish horses are very friendly, but they don't have eyes at the back unfortunately. Elladan was in the process of tying his supplies to his horse so that he can leave with his brother, who was doing the same thing, before Elrond came out of his meeting. Not that they avoided their father but it pained them to see his pained expression whenever they left to hunt orcs. Elladan was unwittingly recollecting one of those memories of their father's expression when he saw a speck of red near the rear of Glorfindel's horse. He couldn't have noticed a moment too late as he scarcely had time to dive and wrap a human boy in his arms and dive away when Asfaloth lifted his famed foot to kick.

The force jarred at Estel's form and Elladan unwittingly squeezed too tight and the predictable force of nature bound to follow in such an instance took over. Estel's wails rocked the last homely again, but this time, no one was surprised. Elrohir startled at the sudden turn of events took over and took the wailing child from a dazed Elladan and walked back to the house. Two packs with supplies for a month lay abandoned, except for an apple which unwittingly escaped out of Elladan's pack was eaten by a very happy horse in the stables of Elrond.

Elrohir was rocking Estel on his arms to calm him down. He needn't have worried, just like a lightning, Estel's crying never lasted more than a few minutes of ear splitting wailing. Elrond came by exhausted after the meeting by dinner time. He was holding his breath and rushing at the same time for even though he hoped for his sons to still there in the house, he also believed that they would have already left and Estel would be in the care of a maid who hardly knew much about human children.

But what he found in Elladan's room made him gasp like a man seeing an oasis in a desert all of a sudden. A naked Estel was sleeping peacefully on Elladan's chest, while Elrohir sat near his brother's prone form with a tunic too small to be his and a needle and thread. The brothers were talking softly in whispers while Estel slept on with his right hand holding tight to Elladan's lock of beaded hair.


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry for the long delay, job shifting is never easy._

Life in Rivendale had never been this exiting. Estel ran amuck destroying the peace and quiet of Rivendale like a tornado. For a two-year-old, he was quiet intelligent and he managed to do things that even older children thought twice about. Maybe that's why he did it in the first place. He regularly upset the dinning tables almost on a daily basis by either climbing on top of it regardless of which dish he stepped on, or he merely sat there and wailed his heart out until everyone ran for cover.

The tantrums began in the fourth week of his stay in Rivendale. Elrond had to leave for Lotherian on an urgent business and he left Estel in the care of his advisors and sons. But Elladan and Elrohir had to leave on a hunt the very next week due to a sudden shortage of meat due to water seepage in the store room. While they could have stayed back while Glorfindel lead the hunt. They were tired of sitting around and watching Estel.

Erestor was at his wits end trying to manage Estel and the household all at once. Glorfindel tried his best and Estel did act normal around him, but Erector and Glorfindel could not be around Estel always. Estel went about making as much noise as he can, he pushed down tables, clanked any utensil he could lay his hands on, if nothing was available used his voice to the best of his ability. He ran himself out on the field running round and round the garden until he plopped exhausted. Usually Glorfindel would come looking for him and pick him up and put him in bed. For a two-year-old, no one could believe that it was possible to make so much of a mess.

Finally after a week of such behavior, a maid lost her cool and smacked him on the head. It wasn't a violent act not a painful blow, but it had a huge effect on Estel. He stopped all his tantrums at once and generally stopped being a pest. It was all peace for a few days and the advisors started to feel relaxed. They realized something was amiss only when Estel started refusing food. He just sat docile on Erestor's lap or Glorfindel's and stared. All the activity seemed to have been drained out of him. He was quiet, too quiet and kept sleeping at odd hours. Erestor was at a loss. This went on for another week and Estel was getting very sick. Erestor sent an urgent message to Elrond and waited. Estel slept with Erestor or Glorfindel now and he seemed to be reluctant to let any of them go. Neither of them could understand how such a naughty child could suddenly become this clingy dull one.

The twins returned and one look at Estel, they knew something had gone wrong. Estel's ribs were showing and his eyes were dull and distant. They took him in their care and Estel began to eat a little but the days of starvation had made him week and Estel suffered his first major illness. A raging fever began and soon he was bed ridden. A frantic Elrond arrived just in time. He was startled to see Estel in such a bad shape. Worse part is his medicines seem to have little effect but the major problem was Estel's inability to eat much. Early the next day of his arrival Elrond asked for a full account of what had happened.

Erestor gave him a full account of what had happened until the twins came back and the twins continued after that. Elrond raged at his sons saying they shouldn't have been so eager to run away again.

"If only you both had stayed and taken care of things here, we won't have a very sick Estel now. Do you realize that he may die of this illness?"

Elladan and Elrohir had no idea that it would get this serious and they apologized, but Elrond had locked up so many things in his heart that they came out tumbling.

He ranted on about how he had to hold his heart along with his breath and wait for them to come home in one piece every time they played orc slayers. How he had to suffer through the pain of loosing Celebrian all alone, how they have made him an isolated bitter man who had hardened his heart to see one of them or both being carried feet first one day, and the guilt at seeing his daughter seeking refuge in Lotherian. Elrond, eyes were red with rage and also the tears that wouldn't stop.

When his words died down, Elladan and Elrohir shared their pain too and how they had to keep slaying orcs just to feel some kind of redemption. How each day they refused to stop and think about anything in order to forget about their broken family.

When it all finally stopped and things were laid out on the table, Erestor and Glorfindel couldn't help but see that finally the big boulder sitting between Elrond and his sons had finally gone.

Elrond feared that what's happening with Estel is something like a withdrawal due to his parents' absence. He theorized that all the tantrums were a means of getting attention and he hoped to get his parents' notice where ever they are hiding, but given that it didn't work, he finally realized that they are not coming back.

The next few days were solely dedicated to the recovery of Estel. Elrond or one of the twins would stay with him always, coaxing him to eat food every hour bit by bit. Elrohir and Elladan scouted for gifts here and there and Estel started anticipating what he would get next. Erestor made the maids sew him some stunning robes and tunics that made his eyes sparkle again. Glorfindel promised to take him out in the gardens and show him the lake in the northern gardens if he would eat and get his strength back.

But most of all Estel wanted to please Elrond, He did whatever the Lord asked him quietly. He did not cry any more, but still looked longing some times. The winter was upon them and Estel was back to his old self. He started learning Elvish and with that started calling Elrond 'Ada' just like the twins. Consequently, even Elrond started calling Elladan and Elrohir as Dan and Ro, grudgingly accepting that he is picking up a lot of habits from his youngest son.

It was not an unusually cold winter but to Estel it was cold. He developed a curious habit of getting under Elrond's robes and holding tightly to his woolen chittoned leg. It became quiet annoying when he would refuse to let go at all. Elrond tried coaxing Estel to stop doing it and Estel would stick to his knees even more tightly. In a bid to make it less fun for him, Elrond would just ignore him and walk around with Estel still clinging to his legs under his robes.

"Ada, you look like your right leg had swollen overnight." Elladan, knowing very well what was causing the swelling, would tease.

Elrond would grunt something about a monkey clinging to his legs. But to Elrond it was all worth it when a giggle would come from his leg and a happy Estel would tumble out of the robe.

One day, Estel was standing on the balcony of his Ada's room and was playing with the snow falling. He stretched his hands and caught them and would lick at them and then extend his hands again. Elrond had wrapped him up in layers of warm woolen clothing and was not unduly worried about Estel playing in the snow.

It was a mild winter but Elrond as his duty every year, was taking stock of the supplies and stocks with Erestor. Both their eyes kept darting to the child playing outside. Suddenly there was no sound coming and Elrond looked up. There was no Estel. Both Erestor and Elrond ran to the balcony but there was no site of Estel. A firm set of foot steps were seen just below the balcony. Elrond jumped down while Erestor called out to Glorfindel as he ran out. Elrond carefully followed the trail that was leading him to the lake. Elrond didn't have to go further. There standing in front of the lake was a tall man clutching a shocked Estel to his chest. One step behind and the man would step into the semi frozen lake.

Estel grew agitated on seeing Elrond and started stretching his hands and squirming saying 'Ada' over and over again. His cries were becoming more and more aloud but the man just stood there holding him sloppily over the lake.

"What do you want?" Elrond's voice spoke with an urgency that clearly marked Estel's reddening nose and hoarse cries.

Elladan and Elrohir who were at the stable along with Erestor, Glorfindel and a few guards started following the trail too and were now right behind their father.

"Supplies for a week and a horse." Was the gruff reply from the man.

Estel grew curiously still and only then Elrond noticed that Estel was dripping wet and was slowly turning blue, his breath was hitching unnaturally loudly in the still air.

"Done. Now give him to me". If Elrond had other plans, he gave up the second he saw Estel's slowly drooping face.

"Oh no, he goes with me till the border where I will leave him, you can pick him up there."

"He won't last that long, you dropped him on the snow didn't you, he will die of cold." Elrond's voice was pleading.

"No…"

The man never finished his sentence; an arrow struck him and in a flash, Elrohir and Elrond were dashing to grab Estel from the falling man. Elrohir reached him first and snatched him right before the man toppled over. Elrond looked at the man who was already sinking in the lake water, clearly he was dead.

He turned back to check on Estel, who hung limply in Elrohir's arms. Ellandan was pulling out his own cloak and wrapping it around Estel.

"He is not breathing ada." Elrohir's voice held a panic that spread across all their hearts.

"Give him to me."

Elrond bent down on Estel and rubbed his chest that was now exposed. He did a few compressions on the tiny chest until a few hitched breaths came out. He then wrapped Estel in his arms and rushed towards their home.

Ever practical Erestor had already left in the commotion and he now had managed to get a roaring fire going in the healing chambers. Chunwe had a hot tea spiked with a little minerva ready. They stripped Estel and Elladan and Glorfindel started rubbing his feet while Elrohir rubbed his hands. Elrond lifted a gorgy looking Estel and held the tea to his small now slightly pink lips. Estel drank the tea while his eyes gazed at the golden haired elf who was slowly rubbing his other hand. He stared for a long time and then slowly raised his hands to the golden elf's cheeks. He held his hands there until his eyes drooped and the elf caught his hands and gently laid them on the bed before it fell.

"Welcome Legolas. We didn't hope to see you this late in the winter, but I am really happy that you did come here when you did." Elrond's voice shook a little.

They were all sitting in the hall of fire except for Elladan and Elrohir who were watching over Estel.

"Not the welcome I expected but none the less I am really glad I was here on time." Legolas voice held an undertone of amusement.

Elrond smiled and Glorfindel chuckled. Legolas asked again.

"Will he be alright? I have seen humans reacting badly to cold."

"Yes, although I wouldn't be sure if we were a few minutes delayed."

Silence ruled as each pondered that statement for a while.

"My father always said you peredhils are strange. I guess now I am as strange as you." Legolas' voice was pondering and amused.

"Oh yes, he captures your heart in a minute even before you have a chance to put up your guards." Glorfindel mused.

"I never had a chance, those big eyes staring at me and that little hand on my cheeks. He is going to be a heart breaker when he grows up hir nin." Legolas was mildly laughing now.

"None of us had a chance you know. But still his own race could do this to him." Elrond sounded worried.

"He will be fine. With warriors of the last alliance, the balrog slayer, the orc hunters and now the best archer to defend him, he will be fine." Erestor in his cool self as always was so reassuring.

"Its surprising that he has burrowed that deep in your heart Elrond." Legolas sounded amused again.

"He brought me and my sons back to life. For that alone; I would walk to the end of the world for him."

"Just for his charms, anyone would." If anyone other than Erestor had said that, it would have been mistaken for an overstatement.

Estel recovered soon enough. In two days he was back on his feet running around and just being his loud self. No one minded though. Estel developed a fascination for Legolas and the feeling was mutual. For Legolas, it was fun to have an adorable child who wanted to ride on his back and play in the snow. This was the winter when Legolas became Lelas to one and all in Rivendale.

Most often with no out door work possible and no political emissaries around, Elrond and his advisors along with the younger elves spent their time with Estel. He drew them in finger paint and grinned at his achievement, he hid under Elrond's robe and played a form of peek-a-boo from inside, he clutched at Lelas' arms and played swing, made Glorfindel his official horse and Dan and Ro his mothers. Of all the things, the most surprising was the way the twins became his personal care takers. They bathed him, fed him and put him to sleep. They even potty trained him.

Estel became the darling of the household but was not very friendly with the others. He refused to go to anyone else other than those in the house of Elrond. Not that there were any one asking for him, but what really worried Elrond was that he became afraid of humans. Maybe it was the ordeal that almost killed him, but he simply refused to get near them.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hope I haven't made too many mistakes, but kindly tolerate what I have. Its too long since I read LOTR_

Estel was five years old now and his education has begun two years ago. He was already fluent in Elvish and with Legolas around he had started using a smattering of sindarian. Elrond had started with the fundamentals and Estel was too glad to start learning. Everyday, he would spend listening to stories from middle-earth history from either Erestor or Elrond. Then he would go down to the fields and spend his time with Glorfindel and his brothers and Legolas as they practiced. He would swing his wooden sword and imitate them and grin when they appreciated him. Late afternoons, he would do math and geography with Erestor or Legolas.

Things were going on fine when Legolas received a message from Mirkwood. He had to return, but promised to visit again, Estel was distraught. For a five-year-old, he understood pretty well why Legolas has to go away. He did not cry or throw a tantrum but merely looked at Legolas with pleading eyes, then with a resigned sigh, walked back to his room and did not come down for dinner. When his brothers went looking for him, they found him under the bed, clutching a pillow and crying his heart out. Something about the way he did it made the twins feel as if they were intruding on a very private moment of grief. He refused to come out even when Legolas and Elrond himself pleaded with him.

But that night when everyone had left him for a while, he silently slipped out and went into Elrond's room. Elrond was not asleep but merely contemplating if he should go and get Estel to eat something. He was not surprised though when Estel silently stood there watching him with pleading eyes that said so many things at once. He extended his hands and Estel came to him silently. Estel never said a word but when Elrond carried him to the kitchen and gave him a glass of milk he drank it quietly and rested his head on Elrond's chest. He was out like a light by the time Elrond climbed the stairs. Elrond didn't even think twice about taking him to his own room.

Erestor checked Estel's room in the morning and when Estel was not there confidently asked the other elves not to disturb Elrond early that day.

Later in the day, Estel still with puffy swollen eyes played with Legolas as usual but he kept looking up at him as if to ask him something. At one point Legolas couldn't take it any more so he hugged the child and took him up his favorite tree.

"Is there anything you want to say Estel?"

Estel looked up at him and thought about it for a while, he then said, "Will you come back?"

"Of course Estel, I will be here again before you know it."

Estel watched his eyes as if reassuring himself that Legolas is saying the truth, then nodded with a smile.

Elrond and Legolas planned out something though. As a measure of goodwill, the twins were to go with Legolas for a year and then Legolas was to comeback with them as a tutor for Estel for a few more years. Glorfindel was to go with them as an emissary and come back in a month.

The plan was flawless, except for it took a long while for them to convince Estel. The distraught boy clung to the brothers for two nights afraid that they would go away when he slept. But then he understood that they will be back in a while.

In a week, the party left and Estel found it difficult to occupy himself all of a sudden. He spent all his time with Elrond and Erestor and though he was good, both of them agreed that it was time Estel became acquainted with others outside the household.

Elrond took him to a small tutorial one day and told him that he would be learning there in the mornings. Estel didn't say anything but his quiet behavior so reminiscent of his behavior when he was two started to show. Elrond being aware this time, made sure that he was always there to walk him back home when classes were over. Summer was beginning and Elrond took him swimming quiet often. Slowly Estel started trying to befriend other elflings. And there he got the first taste of his own differences from his mates.

It wasn't obvious first but small differences like his inability to sight things that others did, run as fast as they can or climb trees became apparent. But Estel relished it. He was far smarter than the other elflings, given that he was already home tutored and like all children became exited when he could answer things others in the class couldn't. Invariably, he was loathed by other elflings. He was forced to find out what terms like filthy human, deadbag, scum, and charity-case mean.

Elrond who was getting worried about Estel figuring out his difference from his was startled when one day Estel himself raised the subject. They were sitting under a tree near the lake enjoying a light lunch after class when Estel suddenly took something out of his pockets and said, "Thank you ada."

Puzzled Elrond took the proffered translucent brown pebble and asked him why. Estel just smiled and said

"For making me 'your Estel' ada. Nimare told me that I am a filthy human who would one day die and rot. Chinka told me that I will become like a rotten tomatoe one day and that I am scum. But despite all that you love me ada. I won't have anyone if you, Dan and Ro didn't make me yours ada. You show me that I am not that bad ada. So I thought I should thank you."

Elrond was stunned. He had expected to be questioned. He had been ready to explain and console, but the eyes looking at him intently were so wise and sure that he was startled into tears. He hugged Estel in a warm hug and kept saying that he will always be his Estel forever.

Glorfindel had come back that day and Erestor and he had to listen to Elrond proudly reenacting the scene with Estel with so much light in his eyes that they wondered if they need any lamps at all that night.

It was six months since the twins left with Legolas when Elrond started noticing something in Estel. He was getting moody often and he came back home with a lot of bruises. Estel never said anything but his eyes were growing dull. He sneaked up to Elrond's room and took to sleeping on the floor there. Even though Elrond would carefully lay him on his own bed when he saw him, Estel however always chose the floor. Elrond was getting worried and was hoping to find out why. One day Estel came back soaking wet and shaking all over. When Erestor took a towel to dry him, he backed away with fearful eyes. Elrond had to be called from council to calm him down. Estel's shivering did not stop though and he refused to let go of Elrond.

Despite all the enquiries, Estel kept apologizing to Erestor and Elrond his eyes pleading for forgiveness. Elrond wanted to investigate it but couldn't leave Estel alone. It took hours to stop the shivering and by then Glorfindel was back. Elrond talked to him and agreed on a plan.

The next day, Estel seemed to have recovered enough and went to the tutorial as usual. Elrond and Glorfindel waited half an hour and went behind him. What they saw startled them. Estel was sitting, hugging his legs, on the floor in a corner while the other children sat on benches. He was constantly mocked at and kicked at. The tutor was pointing to him and saying, "Look elflings this is a human. Now someone tell me what did humans do?"

An Elfling stood up and said, "They took the ring of power and let Sauron's power grow."

Another said, "They are allied with Sauron and are week mortals that have no morals."

Elrond shook with rage. But Glorfidel was ahead of him. He stormed into the room with Elrond following. In a second the tutor was dangling in the air, gasping for air. Elrond had picked up Estel and was cradling him close to his chest. The children screamed and ran, as Glorfindel flung the man to the wall and walked off.

Estel clung to Elrond but did not speak anything. That evening a council met while Estel slept with the help of a sleeping draught. The tutor was there and so were other nobles of Rivedale. Erestor as the domestic affairs advisor took charge. He banned the tutor from teaching again and all other tutorials and teaching institutions should follow a standard syllabus set by Erestor. Prejudices like this were made an offence and henceforth anyone who dares to insult Estel or any other human based on their race will be punished.

Estel resumed his classes a month later with Erestor and Glorfindel. But this time Estel took longer to recover. He started getting nightmares and Elrond didn't know what to do except let him sleep in his bed after Estel took a tumble down the stairs during a nightmare induced panic attack.

Days flew by and on Estel's 6th birthday, over a year and three months since the twins left, three riders came back after their stay in Mirkwood. Estel flung himself at the twins and at Legolas. The loss of weight was painfully obvious and Legolas discerned that something had not gone well.

Legolas gifted Estel his first bow and also an exquisite emerald leaf hairpin set in gold. Elladan and Elrohir had procured a set of toy warriors from a human village along with a set of paints. Elrond gave Estel a satchel for his soon to begin medical lessons and Glorfindel and Erestor together gave him and exquisitely done gold chain with a star pendent.

That evening Elrond explained to the twins and Legolas all that had transpired in their absence. In an effort to deal with the nightmares, the twins and Legolas agreed to allow Estel sleep with them. Soon, Estel started gaining strength and all the activity during the day with the twins and the prince made sure that he was exhausted enough to sleep a dreamless sleep.

It was spring when Gilerian came. No one expected it least of all Elrond. She came with the rangers and asked for her son. Elrond had no option but to reintroduce her to Estel. He hugged her and clung to her and avidly played with all the toys she brought. He even slept in her arms at night. Elrond with a stony expression watched on. The twins did not resent her but Legolas did. She stayed for a week and by the end of it, quiet simply told Elrond that she is taking Estel with her.

Elrond merely nodded and retired for the day. Estel sensed something that night and slipped into Elrond's room. He silently walked in to see that Elrond was lying on his side and that his cheeks and the pillow were damp. Something within him took over and he started crying. He shook Elrond out of his sleep, climbed on to his lap and clung to his robe and wailed. Elrond hugged him close and consoled him. It has been years since he had cried so hard. Pretty soon the whole house was awake.

Gilerian came by and looked at Elrond accusingly. But Elrond was too preoccupied to even notice. Elrohir tried to sooth him and Elladan tried to sooth the now worried Gilerian. He gave her an apologetic smile and softly told her that he will get Estel to her. She merely nodded and crossed her arms across her chest.

Elrond was softly speaking to Estel, but nothing seemed to get through to him. After what looked like 15 minutes, Estel's crying abetted a bit and Elladan took the chance to pry him out of Elrond. But Estel screeched and held on tightly to Elrond. He did not see who was taking him nor was he aware that his mother was standing there watching.

Elrond patted his back as Estel's front was now stuck to his robe. Gilerian had had enough. She walked upto Estel and spoke to him in her calm voice.

"You have to let go Estel. It's time for us to go to sleep."

Estel turned watery eyes to her and stared but then shook his head slowly

"No, ada will disappear if I let him go."

The elders exchanged glances wondering where Estel learnt such a thing.

"What are you talking about Estel?" Elrond was as puzzled as the rest.

"I know elves disappear if they are sad ada. And you are sad. I saw you crying."

Startled everyone stared at the tiny figure clinging to Elrond.

"That might not happen yet Estel, we will know only after you left." Erestor said as a matter of fact. Estel looked up with questioning eyes at Elrond and Elrond along with everyone else looked at Erestor with accusing eyes. Erestor just shrugged and said "What?"

"Ada, am I leaving you and going away ada?" Estel asked in a small voice that sent shivers down a lot of spines for this was the voice that came before Estel determined for sure the reasons for a full blown tantrum.

Elrond looked at Gilerian who sighed and knelt before Estel

"Yes Estel, You will come with me and stay with our relatives. You do want to meet other relatives right. There will be lots of human friends for you where we go."

"Human friends?" Estel's voice was still lower.

This time Elrond sighed, he knew right then that a storm was inevitable.

"Yes Estel and I will be with you. You do want to stay with mama right?"

"What about ada?" this was barely a whisper.

Now Gilerian looked at Elrond. Who turned Estels chin to gain his attention and said

"Ada will stay here Estel. You know ada can't leave Rivendale for long don't you?"

Estel stared at Elrond for a full minute. He then slowly turned to Dan and Ro and Lelas and everyone in the room.

Their looks confirmed what Elrond said. He turned back to Elrond with searching eyes that twisted something inside Elrond. Everyone waited for a massive explosion but Estel just laid his head on Elrond's lap and quietly asked, "Can I sleep with you today ada."

Gilerian shook her head and was about to deny but Elrond took Estel in his arms and said, "Of course yes Estel." Everyone gave a sigh and everyone except Gilerian felt something was yet to happen. But no one said anything as they left. Finally, Gilerian whispered a goodnight to Estel and left. Elrond pushed himself up the bed and lay down with Estel who had his head on Elrond's chest.

Elrond didn't know what to say. He felt his heart breaking just thinking of morning, but Gilerian also had her side of the truth. He had no right to keep Estel with him when his mother asked for him. But for tonight, he can hold the child close to his heart and protect him from the world. He watched on as Estel snuggled up to him and slept with his head on Elrond's chest and lips parted.

In another part of the castle, two brothers hugged each other and cried for the first time after their mother's departure to the heavens. A friend watched on with sad eyes but if he had been brought up in Rivendale where it was alright for an elf to cry, Legolas would have joined his friends. Quite sometime after he would stay back and watch over his friends sleep while he tossed a million ideas on how to keep a child in Rivendale.

Elrond had finally slept, but Estel had not. He slowly crept out of Elrond grip and went in search of someone he knew was as devious as him.


	6. Chapter 6

Elrond woke up with Estel firmly burrowed in his chest. Usually Elrond would have woken Estel up or would have laid him down on the bed and gone about his usual business, but today, he just laid there inhaling the scent of Estel. He pushed the hair that was out of Estel's braids and was falling all over his face and watched what he considered the most innocent face in all of Arda.

But soon it was time to wake up and get ready. Elrond, with tears in his eyes bathed Estel for what he considered the last time. He dressed Estel and combed his hair. Estel who usually never sat still perhaps as a last favor to his ada sat still and let him comb his hair into a beautiful elven braid. But Estel showed no signs of distress at all. Elrond couldn't but feel a twinge of sadness for Estel's placidity. He had expected at least a force 5 tantrum from him, but here was Estel sitting as if nothing in the world was ever wrong.

Gilerian was relived though. She cheerfully swung Estel and ate and laughed with him. Legolas though annoyed somehow felt was there is something fishy in the whole situation. He however did not breathe a word. The twins unable to face any of them left for border patrol where on the outskirts they would tell their goodbye to Estel alone.

Soon the horses were ready and Elrond stood stone still on the stairs bidding farewell. He was crying openly though and so was Glorfindel. In fact there were quiet a few soldiers watching just to see Glorfindel cry. Erestor though told a perfunctory goodbye and walked towards the healing chambers.

Estel without even a second glance snuggled up to his mother on the horse, waved cheerfully and rode off. Elrond broke down and cried. He cursed Estel and all humans in general and nodded his head in accent when Glorfindel remarked on the fickle heart of humans. Legolas though restlessly walked back and forth wondering if he should go after Estel. He did not know what he would say though. How can he talk about betrayal to a six-year-old?

That night as Elrond was standing on the balcony and contemplating his life, he saw two riders rush down the path to Rivendale. No doubt it was the twins. And by the looks of it they were in hurry. But what really puzzled Elrond was the riders flowing them at a greater distance.

Elrond rushed down to the main door, but found Erestor standing there already, strange because Erestors quarters were way far off that Elrond's. The advisor smiled at him and said, "Just don't say anything to anyone for the next 48 hours, I will do the talking okay. If anyone asks just whimper and show how sad you are."

Before Elrond could ask for an explanation, the twins were there carrying someone in their arms. Elrond felt a sense of deja vu. Somehow even before he saw who it was he knew it was Estel. He rushed forwards to check on him and was startled to see Estel bleeding from the mouth. He took Estel and ran to the healing chamber.

Chunwe was already up and he readily extended a potion. Even though Elrond was distracted by Estel contorting in pain, he asked Chunwe, "what is it?"

"It's an antidote for Curumi seeds. It's enough to stop the poison for now."

"How do you…." Elrond didn't even finish the sentence. He just shook his head and held the glass to Estels lips. Estel drank it and after a few moments, the pain seized and his body relaxed. Elrond turned to Chunwe and asked him in a threatening manner, "what's going on here?"

"Ask your son, you have ten minutes before his mother arrives." Chunwe swept off and closed the door behind him.

Elrond puzzled turned to Estel who shockingly was smiling despite the blood in his mouth. He raised his hands to Elrond's face and ran his hands over the creases furrowing Elrond's forehead.

"Estel…"

"I ate the Curumi seeds ada." Estel was smiling widely now.

"What? Why? Who gave you them? Estel, what have you done?" Elrond's voice was just a whisper but was agitated enough for him to be screaming.

"Did you think I will leave you ada? I don't want to go ada. I love mama, but I love you more. I know mama will not give up even if you refuse to let me go now and I also know that you can't do much about it. Even if I tell her I want to stay, she will still take me ada. That's why I asked Erestor yesterday night how to get sick. He was the one who found out from chunwe exactly how much I should take in order to get slightly sick but not die. But I took a few more just in case when Erestor was not looking. It did help when I started spitting blood."

Elrond sat there stunned. He didn't know what to think, angry that Estel would even think of such a plan, or proud that he was so smart, or scared that the child loved him so much to risk something like this. But in the end, he just loved the child even more and with tears in his eyes he hugged his son tight. Estel groaned in pain though.

"Wait Estel, the dose was not nearly enough. Let me prepare some more." Elrond made to stand but Estel held on to him and whispered, "No ada, I should be convincing. Now when mama comes all you have to say is I have the human disease of Finame that leads to pressure on the lungs and that if I don't stay in Rivendale I wont get the antidote nor will I survive out side in wild with so much strain on my body."

"Estel, I can't lie" Elrond was torn between moral and love.

"Then I will die ada." Estel replied in a matter of fact tone. Elrond jumped and shook Estel, "Don't even say such a thing Estel, don't even think of such things."

"But I will ada, I know I can't live without you ada, ever. And I am mortal ada, I will anyway die one day. But if I stay with you, I won't become like Isuldar and I will be happy till I die ada."

"Oh Estel, what I am going to do with you?"

"Just keep me and never throw me away ada." Was the sleepy response.

Elrond sighed and watched as Estel drifted off to sleep. He had a fever but he knew it was not life threatening. Elrond stood up and walked to the door only to see, Erestor and Chunwe trying to stop a distraught Gilerian from barging in. The twins and Legolas were equally distraught standing behind her.

"What happened to my son Elrond?"

"Lady, come with me, I will explain," Erestor tried to placate her.

She brushed him aside though and pulled Elrond by the collar and in a vicious tone asked him, "what have you done to my son?" Glorfindel's hand automatically unsheathed his sword and held it to Gilerian's neck in a second.

"Its okay Glorfindel, I anyway need to talk to Gilerian. Come with me lady, I shall take you to Estel and explain his condition to you."

The moment Elrond and Gilerian went inside the chamber, the twins, Glorfindel and Legolas all pounced on Erestor. Elladan asked first, "How can you be so calm Erestor? What's going on?"

"Ah well, I think you should all follow me to the halls of fire and calm your nerves. I have some Darwinian wine, just the thing for such a day."

Estel's recovery did not go as planned and he suffered a lot on account of taking the extra poison, but he always grinned at anyone except for his mother and her human companions. Finally, after a week, Gilerian left with her entourage promising to come and check on him very soon. Estel was a bit hurt when she refused to stay with him in Rivendale, but he soon forgave her given what he had done to stay.

Elrond spent every waking moment with him carefully monitoring his recovery. Erestor and Chunwe had been subjected to scorn by both Elrond and the twins but Erestor mildly said, "It was better he came to me Elrond, don't you know Estel? He refused to listen to my reason and he wouldn't have it when I said I will talk to you. He would have found another way that may have been even more dangerous. Sometimes for a good, you have to be cunning. He is too smart for his own good Elrond, watch out."

Elrond couldn't agree more. Estel refused to believe that what he did was wrong in an overall sense, but he promised his ada that never again in his life he will risk his life knowing that he could die. Erestor and chunwe though did not forgive Estel that easily for taking advantage of them. Both were furious that he took the extra seeds and ended up bleeding. But in the end, no one could hold a grudge against Estel for long.

Estel also gained a deeper friendship and respect of Legolas. Legolas read to Estel and told him stories; he made him laugh and made him think. They even had lessons. The twins, initially did not like the scheme and they hated the fact that Elrond lied to Gilerian. But just over a week of silence, when Estel hobbled and crawled to the lake to talk to them all was forgotten between brothers. Estel was panting hard and was on his knees by the time he reached them and Elladan was so shocked that he screamed Estel's name.

Elrohir who had seen Estel by then ran upto him and picked him up, Elladan joined his twin and they hugged him and cried. Estel was too far gone to even talk but he held on to them as if his life depended on it. All the while the twins kept repeating how much they loved him.

It was a month when finally Estel recovered enough to get out of the healing chambers. As a present, he got a pony. Estel loved it even though neither Estel nor the pony which he named Ogamenu, were old enough to ride.

In later years, the horse took many a turns to the nearby forests for hunts accompanied by its young human rider and other elves. Elves of Imladris grew used to seeing the twins with their human brother or even Elrond riding with the boy.


	7. Chapter 7

_Sorry if you were following this story. I promise next time, I will write soon. _

Estel took a sudden fascination with jewelry. It all started when, he asked his ada why he always wore the star and nothing else and why only Elrond's family wore it. Elrond explained that it was like a symbol and a legacy. With great enthusiasm, Estel took it upon himself that anything he wore had a star.

By now Estel had a number of robes and a lot of jewelry, gifted to him by his family. He had his ceremonial robes that were in black with the star motif and he had his mritil circlet broaches and clips.

Estel even painted stars on his wall. One day when Elrond came back to his room in the afternoon he noticed his room was slightly open and knowing that only Estel would be free enough to do anything in his room he silently crept in, what he saw made him choke in laughter. Estel stood in front of the mirror, with just his eyes peaking at the mirror. He was wearing Elrond's robe or rather held it up in a bunch. His hair which usually was neatly braided and held by a small clip was in total disarray with a clip of Elrond's dangling precariously from his hair. Elrond was laughing now and that was such a strange sight that the twins rushed in to see what exactly was making their father laugh so much. Well the sight that met them set them rolling in laughter.

Estel was embarrassed, but he was still young enough to not take it personally. Especially, when Elrond strode in and scooped him up in his arms and kissed his forehead amidst laughter.

That year was spent in total bliss. Elrond, after many years, finally allowed a party to be arranged for his birthday. It was a small private affair and Estel was shocked when he heard how old Elrond really was. Much to everyone's amusement, he clambered on to Elrond's lap and turned his face this way and that, he then pulled his cheeks and exclaimed how he would like to know what his ada has done all these years. The twins have somehow managed to procure a marmuk tusk writing set, Erestor gave him a handwritten book on the last alliance, Glorfindel gave him a set of rare herbs he managed to buy out of Gandalf when he met the wizard in Bree. But what Estel gave Elrond surprised most of everyone. Estel had written out a deed on a bit of parchment stating that Estel owes his allegiance to Elrond and no one else till his death.

Elrond was shocked beyond belief. "Where did you get this idea Estel?"

"I saw a document like this in the record room given to you by Erestor, there were also Glorfindel's and so many others."

Elrond was agitated and was frowning in his anxiousness. Estel sensing that his ada was not too happy, started to look doubtful. "You are not happy with me ada. I don't have anything more precious to give than myself and I will soon grow to be old like Erestor and Glorfindel, so I thought….."

Estel trailed off almost crying now. "Oh no Estel, this is the greatest thing you have and that's why you shouldn't give it so freely to me."

"Why ada? Who else will I give it to?"

"You may find someone or something more worthy of your allegiance later Estel. What will you do then?"

"I will make sure that it's not as important as you."

"Estel…" Elrond was at a loss for words. But thankfully, the twins took pieces of parchment and wrote out something similar and gave it to Elrond with grins plastered on their faces. Elrond refused and was furious that they were making a joke out of the whole thing. But they turned to Estel and said how Elrond was so partial that he would take it from Estel and Estel only and not from the twins. They made a big scene and soon Estel was giggling and the whole incident was forgotten.

But Elrond though, took the paper with him and hid it inside an old trunk of his.

Estel's classes were going on well. He was a quick learner and had no problem with anything except for history. He just couldn't sit still and listen to all the facts and dates. Erestor finally decided to spice up things. Imladris' old gallery has been closed up for ages, but that might just do the trick to interest Estel. Early one morning, Erestor took Estel to the musty old building where paintings dating back to the last alliance were kept. Estel was fascinated, paintings of Glorfindel, Ecthelion, Gil galad, Erestor, Oropher and Elrond.

As Erestor explained each picture, Estel watched in awe at the heroes of the last alliance. Most of them were scenes from the great battles and councils, but in one, there was a handsome elf lounging on a stone bench in a beautiful garden. The trees and plants were different, almost ethereal and the elf looked like one of the Valar. A sword rested at his side, but it somehow looked harmless in the painting. But the most beautiful of all was the smile on the elf's face, Estel gasped.

"Is that ada?"

Erestor smiled. "Yes"

Estel stared, the elf in the picture was the same ada he knew but was somehow different. That face was much clearer and much simpler.

"Ada looks different here. Did he really look that way?"

"Yes Estel that was a different time. It's much older than the others."

"Where is that garden?"

"Lindon, its part of history now Estel, the trees and plants there can no longer be found that easily in Middle Earth. Come I will tell you all about it."

Erector walked back to their class with a smug smile and an Estel who was practically jumping with excitement.

Estel was nine when he traveled for the first time outside Imladris. Elrond was planning on a trip for a few months to Mirkwood. Estel wanted to go with him and since Erestor was also coming along, Elrond thought it was a good idea to take Estel with him. But one problem was Estel should formally be identified in order to step inside Mirkwood. Unwilling to reveal his true name, Elrond did the next best thing. He formally organized a ceremony by which Estel was officially made a son of Elrond. The twins were happy but a bit worried about what problems will come with this. Legolas came by for a week to attend the ceremony and had intended to ride with them back when they leave for Mirkwood.

The party set out two days from the ceremony. Estel for the first time saw orcs and even though he had a feeling he had seen them before, couldn't place them. He also for the first time saw Elrond fight. It was the most fascinating and fearful site he had seen. The ferociousness of an elf came through when Legolas, Elrond and Erestor along with their small party decimated what looked like about fifty orcs. No one was hurt but nevertheless the encounter delayed them by a day.

Estel's stay in Mirkwood not only opened him to other elves but also gave him a chance to befriend Gandalf who was also visiting Mirkwood. The wizard taught him a lot of things that Estel scarcely knew about. He took him to a human village nearby and that too dressed as a small girl. Elrond was not happy with sending Estel with Gandalf alone, but was nevertheless amused with Estel dressed as a girl. Legolas teased him mercilessly and that gave Estel a blush that really made him look like a girl. Elrond though suspected that Estel wouldn't have done it for free, but try as he might, he couldn't get it out for Estel just what Gandalf did to dress him up.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Sometimes, the best intentions can lead to the worst consequences. No one knew why Estel left, in fact no one believed that he had until they found that note he left in his room.

"_Dear Ada,_

_I am going to the place where the gray ships dock. I am going with Remerd."_

_Yours,_

_Estel_

If Estel had been any more than 10, he would have understood that if he doesn't want to explain something, he shouldn't just avoid it. Elrond knew Estel very well, and that in itself was reason enough for him to panic. Estel had never voluntarily left Elrond. He had always fussed about every short trip Elrond took over the past years and even then, he made sure that the twins were there. In fact, Elrond himself was thinking of sending Estel with Glorfindel on short hunts that lasted just a few days.

And now, Estel had left on his own leaving behind just a note. The twins were not at home. They had just left for Lothlorien to escort Arwen back to Rivendell for a short visit. If Remerd has been Glorfindel, Elrond would have thought that Estel just wanted an adventure, but Remerd was an elf leaving Rivendell for Valinor and it was no secret to anyone that Estel knew about it.

_- start flashback-_

"_Ada, where is he going?"_

"_Home to Valinor Estel"_

"_But isn't this home"_

"_Not anymore for him Estel"_

"_why?"_

"_Because he is sad here and wants to join his wife."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because he loves her"_

"_Why?"_

_Elrond lowered the parchment he was looking at to see Estel sitting on his desk with arms and legs folded like a sage. But he had an impish smile that said he was in the mood for mischief. _

"_Estel…"_

"_Why ada?"_

"_Estel, go play with someone."_

"_Why?"_

_Elrond sighed; this was a never ending game that sometimes took days to be broken. It scared Elrond very much that Estel was getting so good at it and he had no one to play in his stead today. He can always send him to Erestor to continue the game, but the last time he did that, he had to work a whole week without his counselor as the said counselor spent the whole week answering each 'why' of Estel._

"_Estel, I have work to do today, go do something else."_

_Estel pouted and looked at him stubbornly for a minute, then he ever so slowly sighed and made to jump down the desk. Elrond sighed inwardly, why does he always give in to this trick?_

"_Okay Estel, you can ask me five questions and then we stop this game but go out for a short picnic lunch."_

_He didn't get to finish his sentence before a blur of dark hair hit him on the chest and two stubby hands went around his neck in a death grip. Though it has happened a hundred times before, Elrond always felt a surge of something wonderful within when it happened. He smiled and lifted the boy easily. Allowing the child to warp himself around his slender frame, Elrond asked, "So what are your five questions?"_

"_Why did Remerd go to meet his wife ada?"_

"_Because, no matter where someone is, if you love them you will always go to them. Remerd doesn't know how his wife is and so, even though she is with the Valar, he wishes to be near her and to watch over her."_

"_So we never leave someone we love, ada?"_

"_Sometimes we have to Estel, for their own good. You will understand when you are a little bit older. Now what is your next question?"_

"_Why did his wife go to Valinor?"_

"_Because after they lost their child, she wanted to heal and Valinor is the best place for that"_

"_Why"_

"_Valinor is a fertile land Estel, things there are immortal. Nothing dies there and even the sickest will be nourished back to health and glory."_

_Estel looked up. He thought for a minute and asked._

"_Does that include trees ada?"_

"_Of course it includes trees and plants and elves."_

"_Why not humans ada?"_

_Elrond knew it was coming. This has been a constant question for which he always gave the same answer._

"_That's the way it is Estel. The Valar made it so. But you don't have to worry because; I won't go as long as you are here Estel."_

_Sometimes Elrond wondered if Estel asked him these questions because he didn't understand or because he wanted to hear that answer again and again. Elrond held a bit tighter to Estel as Estel rested his head on his ada's chest close enough to hear Elrond's heart beat. Then he whispered his final 'why'_

"_why ada?"_

_Elrond kissed the dark curls of the child that held his soul in his palm and whispered back, "Because I love you Estel and for you, I will stay as long as you need me."_

"_Forever ada, forever."_

_In the moment, with an arm full of the child he knew his world revolved around, Elrond believed him._

_- end flashback-_

"Call Glorfindel, we have to go now." Elrond was panicking; he knew it and still didn't care.

"Hold on Elrond, there are others who can go after him."

"You don't understand Erestor, why would he want to go to Valinor? It's my fault; I told him that things there don't die. I should have known. He would want to get there. Maybe he thought he could become immortal like us if he went there."

"Stop ranting Elrond. It wasn't your fault. Now let's call Glorfindel and send him. _You_ are not leaving."

"But Erestor…"

"He will bring him home safe. But you Elrond cannot leave for reasons you know very well."

Glorfindel needed no more that a few minutes to leave and from there on, it was an agonizing wait for Elrond. It was two days from then and Elrond had exhausted himself from his pacing. Just as he slipped into an uneasy sleep, he heard laughter coming from below.

He only had a moment to register that Estel was back, when his bundle of joy, tired and dirty but still very much his Estel, flung himself in his arms. All the anger and frustration Elrond held on to cleared out like fog under sunshine in that instant.

"Where did you go Estel?"

"To meet Cridan, ada. I wanted to ask him a help."

"You didn't want to go to Valinor?"

Estel looked puzzled. "No ada, why would I? I can't come back soon if I go there and they wont let me in either."

"What was so important that you want to ask him Estel?"

Estel looked dejected for a second, but then slowly mumbled.

"I wanted to ask him if he can teach me to sail."

Elrond looked at him curiously. "Why Estel? I thought you wanted to become a warrior like you brothers."

"Yes ada, but then I thought if I can sail, then you can go to Valinor and I can still see you every time I sail there."

Elrond sensed that Estel was not telling him everything.

"Is that all Estel?"

"For now, yes ada."

Elrond wanted to persist, but it never worked with Estel. But the deed itself still remained fresh in his mind fueling his steadily growing anger.

"I don't believe you left with just a note Estel. I don't know when you thought you are grown up enough to leave on your own, but if you ever do that again Estel, Eru help me when I punish you."

Estel just looked at the ground suitably chastised and mumbled, "sorry ada".

Elrond shook his head in disappointment and wondered, "I don't understand what possessed Remerd to take him along without my knowledge."

"About that, I don't think he knew until I reached him." Glorfindel who was silent till then broke the truth. Estel pulled his tongue out at Glorfindel who just smirked at him.

"What!" Elrond looked at Glorfindel and then at Estel, aghast.

"Estel…"

"I am sorry ada, I thought he wouldn't let me if I actually asked him."

"And you went hidden in his cart I suppose. Do you know how dangerous it is out there Estel. What was so important that you should do something that I have time and again warned you about?"

"I told you ada…"

"Stop lying Estel, I know you are hiding something from me."

At the word lying, Estel started sniffling; Elrond noticed but was far too angry to stop his rant.

"If you wouldn't trust me with an answer Estel, you may go to your room now."

"Ada…"

"And until you see the importance of honoring me with an answer you don't have to talk to me."

Estel looked up startled. This was a new punishment he had never faced and the implications of it hit him.

"Sorry ada, I cannot tell you, but ada…"

Elrond did not let him finish his sentence.

"Erestor, please take care of Estel's dinner. I have work to do."

Erestor sighed as he watched Elrond whirl around and walk away. Glorfindel felt guilty enough to linger in the background, but Estel was rooted to his spot.

He was crying, but silently. Erestor was more worried about that. He cursed Elrond for putting him in a spot but he also knew that Elrond has to what he was doing. Knowing what was out there to get Estel, he could not blame the father for what he was doing.

"Estel, you just have to tell the truth Estel. You know your father is doing it for your own good."

"I know Erestor, I am going to bed."

"Estel…I am sorry Estel. I had to tell him."

"I know that too Glorfindel. Hannon le for bringing me home."

The eleven warriors watched as the boy dragged himself on tired feet towards his room.


	9. Chapter 9

_Okay, this one is long but sort of hurried. Forgive my mistakes and enjoy if you can._

Elrond smiled as he looked at himself in the mirror. His braids were perfect and his robe draped just so. In Estel's words, he looked perfect. Though perfect for what, Elrond didn't know. The most puzzling thing of all was that it was Estel's thirteenth birthday but for some reason, Estel had dressed up Elrond.

"Ada…"

Elrond broke from his thoughts just as Elladan walked into his chambers after a gentle knock.

"Wow! Are you getting married without telling us?"

Elrond raised an eyebrow in annoyance, "Shut-up ion, it's your brother's work."

"Speaking of the little one, where is he ada?"

"I don't know, he left a few minutes ago, after harassing an old man into dressing up that is."

"Where in arda did he run off to again? I swear Ro and I have spent more time looking for him than actually with him."

"Your brother is growing up. It's sad, but we have to let him be. Remember what you told me a few years ago? Elrond smirked, he had been using that line every chance he got."

Elladan rolled his eyes and pretended to stabbed himself with a dagger. Elrond laughed, "Never tell an elf something you can't stick to."

Elladan rued the day he said that. But still, it was one of the few times, the twins had to talk some sense into their father.

_-start flashback-_

_Elrohir and Elladan were eager to get home. They have been away for two weeks. Arwen looked amused and teased them about being domesticated by a child. However when they neared their home, there was no welcome party. _

_It took them a while to hear the story from Glorfindel about Estel's big adventure and their father's subsequent punishment and Estel's fall. When they reached Elrond's chambers Estel was suffering from a fever that held him in delirium. He kept fretfully twisting and turning while mumbling apologies and screaming for his ada. Elrond sat trying to calm the boy with tears in his eyes. _

_While Elrohir took over from an exhausted Elrond, Elladan took the distraught elf to the dinning hall. _

"_I wanted him to know the seriousness of what he did. But stupid child, don't know what he thought but when he had seen the door locked, he had tried to climb over the balcony. It was cold after the rains. I was not even at the room…"_

"_Ada…"_

"_I was down at the library worrying about him to Erestor…"_

"_Ada, stop, breath ada…"_

_Elladan held his hands and looked at his father. The elf that had stood proud in front of Sauron now held his son's hand as he cried. _

"_I didn't…"_

"_We know ada, and he does too. He will get better ada"_

"_I hope so. The fever won't let up. I think he stepped on a snake and fell. Thankfully the rails were not that high from the ground to break anything, but unfortunately he hit his head and was lying in the wet puddle until he woke up…"_

_Elrond's eyes brimmed with fresh tears._

"_Ada…"_

"_I didn't know ion. I didn't know until he woke up and fumbled his way back home…"_

"_Ada… did you punish him because he left or because he didn't tell you the truth?"_

_Elrond looked up. He pondered the question and slowly nodded his head._

"_Both I suppose, this is the first time he refused to tell me something when I asked."_

"_Estel is growing up ada, we have to trust him and let him be."_

_Once recovered, Estel had tried to confess, but Elrond had stopped him. _

"_You can keep it a secret Estel but you have to promise that it's not dangerous and you will not leave anywhere out of Imladris. The minute you get into any sort of trouble, you should come to me Estel."_

_Estel promised and the smile that broke out on his face was his first smile since Elrond's punishment._

_- end flashback-_

Elladan grinned. Then his expression mellowed into a smile. "He has grown so much ada, I don't know where exactly he is going and believe me we have tried everything without actually breaking our promise. But I don't think we should worry, he has grown stronger and muddier and always walks up north of the blacksmiths. That can mean only one thing; I think he has finally found some friends among those boys."

"You mean those three boys who are training with Farneli? Even I suspect that. Though I don't understand why he would wish to hide it. It's not like we won't allow humans to our dinner tables. We do it all the time."

"Dan…" Elrohir stepped in but just like his brother took a step back and lifted an eyebrow at his father.

"Wow! Do I know the eliath?"

Elladan laughed uncontrollably while Elrond just glared.

"Why is it that I should marry to look good?"

"Because, you do it as rarely as getting married." Elrohir smiled even as he looked around for Estel.

"Where is my young one?"

Elrond laughed and chided them with mock annoyance, "stop calling him that, he is thirteen today and you both sound like naneths looking for a four-year-old."

"That we are. Just don't tell that runt."

All three settled down silently, each pondering their little bundle of joy in their own respect. The day's events have been exiting. Elrond as usual had woken up Estel. Well, pretended to wake up an Estel who was already awake but had his eyes screwed tight waiting for his ada to tickle him, kiss him on the forehead, and wish him a good morning.

After an excellent breakfast, they had offered their prayers in the form of songs to the Valar and had spent the rest of the morning giving gifts to Estel. For the first time, Estel received a real sword from Glorfindel, though its edges were blunted. The twins gave him a survival kit they procured from a human village. The kit would help Estel learn the skills of his forefathers. Curiously Erestor had winked at Estel and said that he had already given something to Estel. Estel had vigorously nodded his head with an impish grin. Legolas had brought him a couple of rare books on medicine and ancient fantasy stories.

After a sumptuous lunch, Elrond had gone back to work while his three sons and Legolas went fishing.

Estel had come to fetch Elrond so that they can get ready for the evening party. He had insisted that he choose what Elrond should wear. But before Elrond could return the favor, the boy had ran off in a hurry.

"Elrond…" Erestor walked into the chambers and was just about to say something to Elrond when he noticed the way he was dressed.

"Don't even say it; I have already had it with these two."

"Since when did they grow interested in your life at Lindon.

Elrond looked puzzled and then looked down at himself. Understanding dawned and he looked shocked.

"What's going on ada?" Both Elladan and Elrohir asked curiously.

Erestor just smirked, "Let me guess, Estel dressed you up?"

Elrond nodded.

"Ah, anyway, Estel is ready, what are you all doing contemplating the curtains here?"

"What he is at dinner already? Why do I get the feeling you know more than you are telling Erestor?" Elrond sighed.

"I always know more than I say. Come along now."

Erestor made a shooing motion to which the twins evaded as they hurried to the party.

Estel was wringing his hands. He had struggled so hard for this. He had lost his ada's favor once over it and he had lost so much time with his brothers and family, but it will all be worth it even if just for a moment Estel achieved what he had embarked on at the beginning of this project 4 years ago.

In a moment, the room will be filled with his family and friends, but for now he stood alone. This had been the same place where Estel understood a great truth in life. That people hurt sometimes for the good. Till that day, Estel has never wondered if Elrond will one day reject him. But when he came back after meeting Cridan, Elrond had been furious. He had refused to talk to him and had left him in the care of Erestor.

Estel had experienced harsh words from Elrond when he had been naughty; in fact, there are instances where he had been soundly spanked. But Elrond has never left him. He had always thought that no matter what he does, he will always have his family. But that day he realized that if he was not careful, he could end up losing the most important things in his life.

That night turned out to be the longest he had known.

_-flashback-_

_Estel dragged himself to his room tired and hungry. Just as he was about to step into bed, Erestor had brought him dinner. But something heavy had settled inside Estel and his stomach turned at the sight of food. He shook his head dejectedly._

_Erestor was never one for affection, but the sight of the lonely child made him bestow the first and last kiss he ever bestowed a child. But he also knew that this was a hard lesson that Estel had to learn. After all he had suffered the past two days with a fretting Elrond who would have done something irrational if not for his own council. Nevertheless, he resolved to talk to Elrond on his way, just to make sure that the punishment did not last too long._

_Erestor took with him whatever little warmth there was in the room. Estel buried himself in his bed but just couldn't calm down enough to sleep. To his mind, Elrond's words held a finality to them. He pondered if it would be wise to tell the truth, but then Estel had never wished for anything as much as he did on his current project. It was the first time he wanted something with so much passion. It never occurred to him that perhaps, his ada wouldn't mind what he was up to if he told him the truth._

_The silence that usually welcomed him into sleep turned into an oppressive one that night. The shadows that he never noticed loomed on all sides. Estel wished his brothers were there. Probably they would have convinced their father not to punish him so. Unable to sleep, Estel cautiously walked to Elrond room, but the room was locked. Probably because Elrond knew this would happen. Estel's heart hammered at his chest. So, his ada was really disappointed in him. Elrond has never done so, but if he had, it could only mean Elrond was very serious about what he said._

_At that moment Estel decided that he would tell the truth rather than suffer so. He knocked on the door, but there was no reply. With increasing apprehension, Estel ran out into garden so that he can climb up though the balcony that would lead him to Elrond room. He had done it before with mischief in mind but this time it was with growing panic._

_Imladris was generally not that cold a place. It snowed for two months in winter but once the season ended, it was always blessed with a warm summer. But this night it had rained earlier and Estel was weak. By the time Estel reached the rails, he was shivering. But Estel was determined to set things right with his ada. He clambered on to the balcony and just as he landed stepped on something slimy and flipped over backwards in fright. His head hit the rails and he fell over. _

"_Estel… Estel… wake up ion, please wake up" Estel listened to the heavenly voice directed towards him; he whimpered to say that he was sorry and will tell the truth. But no sound came, his throat was sore and his body ached. His vision swam for a second but then cleared to reveal a worried looking Elrond._

"_Ada…" he croaked out._

"_Oh Estel, you gave me a scare. What possessed you to climb up the rails in the middle of the night?"_

_"Wanted… sorry…snake"_

_Elrond smiled and brushed off his hair from his forehead. The gesture somehow said that for now he was forgiven._

"_Drink this and rest Estel, we can talk later."_

_Estel drank the gruel Elrond held up to him. When Elrond made to get up and leave, Estel weakly held on to his sleeve. "Don't go ada…"_

_Elrond left the bowl on the table before he pulled Estel against his chest. The warmth lulled the little boy to sleep instantly._

_-end flashback-_

Elrond watched in amusement as Estel stood rock still with his mouth slightly open.

"Daydreaming already Estel?"

Estel snapped his mouth shut and looked at his father. He smiled and ran to him for a hug which was given with equal enthusiasm. Even as they spoke Lindir and Glorfindel walked in. In a few minutes the room was milling with guests.

"Eat this ada, I helped Derya make it." The twins and Legolas watched in amusement as Estel piled muffins on Elrond's plate. But their smirk left their face as Elrond passed all but one to the twins and Legolas saying, "We should share Estel, what about your brothers and friend?"

Estel nodded his head and went on to pile more on their plates.

The twins took it in good spirit though and Elrohir even joked that he was becoming the muffin elf.

The music began and the elves danced. Estel though was the one who danced with everyone. That is, his partners carried him while they danced. As it grew late though, Estel kept looking outside. The sun was setting but its light was still bright.

Estel looked over at Erestor who nodded his head with a smile. Estel smiled back nervously then looked over to Legolas, who was talking to Elrond, nodded and then walked out of the hall. Legolas waited for a quarter of an hour and then leant in on Elrond and whispered something. Elrond looked surprised but followed Legolas outside.

Legolas took a blindfold and offered it to Elrond. Elrond looked questioning.

"Trust me Hir nin, I mean no harm. It's Estel's idea."

"Estel? Where is he?"

"You will soon find out. But first let me bring our horses and once you have closed you eyes, I will take you to him."

Elrond was a bit apprehensive, but Legolas was as much family as Estel. So he did as Legolas bid him to. Soon, they were trotting at a brisk pace and just as Elrond wondered if he should ask; his horse stopped. The next instant, Legolas was guiding him off his horse and leading him down a path.

"Hannon le Legolas, I will take ada from here."

"Sure Estel, see you in the morning."

"See you in the morning Hir nin"

Before Elrond could reply, Estel's small hand slipped into his and pulled him forward.

"Come ada, I have a surprise for you."

"Estel…slow down" Elrond groaned as he stumbled a few times trying to keep up with a sugar high exited Estel.

"We are here, remove your blindfold ada."

Elrond removed the blindfold and blinked a few times to adjust to the light and when his vision cleared; he saw something that made him pinch himself. It wasn't a dream though because he could still feel the warm hand that nervously twitched in his.

"Estel… how…"

"Go inside ada, it's yours."

Elrond slowly took a step in front of what looked like a gateway to a piece of Valinor. The tall trees and the smell of blossoms of the night just beginning to bloom was intoxicating. The small padlock at the entrance archway was closed with just a tendril from the creeper adorning the archway in blue flowers. The low fence was not neat or in line, but it spoke of toil that tugged at Elrond's heart.

Some tears are of the body when it suffers and some are of the heart and mind, but some are the language of the soul when it chooses to speak. Elrond's were copious enough to be a song and not just a few words. He reverently removed his bejeweled slippers outside for they seemed to be garishly cheap in front of the heaven he stood before.

The first thrill of the grass tickling his soles, and the shock of the gentle breeze as he crossed the threshold felt like another life to Elrond. The air was cool but the remaining sunlight was enough not to make it cold. The soft sand of the earth as he stepped onto the path that ran around the garden brought a smile to his face. He cannot remember the last time he had felt the earth beneath his feet.

Estel watched from the archway. He had long ago decided that Elrond will be the first other than himself who will see the garden. But somehow at this moment he saw himself as an intruder. Unconsciously, he hid behind the thick tendrils of the archway and peeped in to watch Elrond as he touched and felt each plant, flower and tree. It had taken Estel four years to do it. That day he saw that painting in the old gallery, Estel had known that it would be the best gift he can give back to the elf who had given him so much. He had researched only to find that most of the plants in that garden were no longer growing on middle earth. The ones that did were also very difficult to procure. He had begged, sold, and pleaded to get these rare plants from all over arda. Well, Legolas and Erestor had done it for him, but he had still dressed like a girl in order to get the magic soil from Gandalf. Estel never once regretted it because that soil made it possible for all these plants to grow here. The last trip had been to meet Cidran who gave him the seeds of those trees and plants from Valinor.

Elrond opened his senses and let the beauty and magic seep into his being. After seeing each one of the plants for what they are, he sat down on the stone bench under a young Kruga tree and rested.

Estel felt a curious sensation in himself. He felt as if his nerves were dancing and wanted to jump out of his skin. And when he saw the sight of Elrond sitting on the bench leaning on his hands and head thrown back, everything in him stilled into nothing. Elrond breathed in and smiled and in that instant Estel knew that he had been so wrong. No matter how hard he tried, he can never bring back the magic of that painting. Estel realized that the beauty of this moment was not of the world and that there was no way any picture or sculpture can match it. Elrond turned and his smile grew wider as he saw Estel peeping in from the entrance. All those things that stilled in Estel burst into a blinding chocking burst of something that Estel did not know what but felt like an age-old wise spirit that governed the universe.

"Come in Estel, what are you doing out there?"

Estel walked up to Elrond. Who dragged him to sit on his lap and hugged him close. They did not speak anything until Elrond murmured.

"Thank you so much Estel. There are no words that can describe how much you have done for me with this, but I can give you this."

Elrond kissed the boy's forehead gently and placed his palm on the boy's heart. A sudden thrill of joy went through Estel and a sense of calm washed over him. Estel's eyes closed and he relaxed into Elrond's embrace. His mind seemed to wander and roam strange places and sights, but his heart rested undisturbed and in peace. They rested like that for a while until Elrond slowly dropped his hand.

"What was that ada? I felt like… I felt like I went somewhere."

"I gifted you a vision of my life Estel. All that you saw were those I saw through the ages."

Estel felt that he was too weary to move. He wondered if Elrond felt this weary.

"Do you feel this weary ada?"

"Ah Estel, with age comes responsibility. But the Valar thankfully have given me the strength to carry them. Your young mind though will be tired bearing it. I haven't shown you everything Estel, just those that you may look upon when you need and know that I am there for you."

Estel snuggled up and mumbled thanks before he fell into a light dose.

Elrond watched as the night flowers fully bloomed bringing with them a soft glow of light to make up for the failing sunlight. The fireflies stepped out of their homes and began their dance. But what fascinated and filled his heart was that boy he held close to his heart.

His eyes watered as he thought of the effort that had gone into this gift. Everything made sense now. The plants from Valinor, the strangely gray soil and his own robe that reminded him of that day he had been painted by an admirer without his knowledge, even the fishes in the small pond were the result of sacrifices the boy had made freely and diligently to make an old elf happy. In all his life, Elrond had received no other greater gift than one. And that was sleeping in his arms.

When Elrond rode back with a sleeping Estel in front of him, they had eyes only for that majestic elf that glowed brighter than the stars. There was a rumor for days after the event that Elrond had seen the Valar and they have blessed him. And the twins would have believed them if they had not seen the garden with their own eyes the next day. Glorfindel named it Purvion which meant magical heaven but the name was known only to Estel's family, Elrond's two most trusted counselors, and the prince of Mirkwood.

Estel never dwelled on the rumors or his family's awed reaction. Only once did Elrohir ask him why he did it. His simple answer was, "for ada."

One thing that stayed with him though was that feeling he felt when he watched Elrond smile that day sitting on the bench in the garden. But then, Estel was still too young to understand that it was love.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

A young teen of about 15 was standing near a pillar and watching the elflings dance in the hall of fire. He was dressed in blue and was wearing a thin Mithril crown that held the design of a simple star in the center. It had a white diamond it the center as opposed to the pink diamond in the twins. His boots were black but trimmed with silver at the calves. He wore his hair in a long braid that barely managed to contain his fine brown hair. His eyes were following the dance with an unwavering concentration. When the dance ended, the boy walked up to a young eliath who was sitting with a few other elflings.

Elrond watched with his heart in his throat as Estel walked up to the eliath. This was the fifth ball Estel was attending and so far none of them save for Glorfindel and the twins have danced with Estel. And that in itself was embarrassing because while the others danced with partners their own age Estel was the only one dancing with the elders.

Estel for his part had tried though, he had approached over a dozen elflings both male and female, but he was always refused, sometimes politely and sometimes not so politely. Once an elf had told him he smelt and Estel had walked back to an isolated corner and had sniffed himself to check if it was true. But this time, Estel's one and only childhood friend, Numavia, has returned from her stay in Lothlorien and Estel knowing about it weeks ahead had prepared for it. He had asked Elrond to teach him the etiquettes of asking a lady to dance. The twins accomplished dancers themselves, have trained him personally for this and Erestor and Glorfindel after much argument among themselves have found him a stunning costume to go with.

Estel confidently bowed in front of Numavia and smiled shyly. She looked up and gasped and shook his hand and said something that made Estel blush. The elflings around them laughed. Elrond tried hard to listen and still be discrete while the twins were even then consciously moving towards a pillar at the groups back.

Estel was by now shyly clearing his throat and asked "Numavia, will you dance with me." He bowed and extended his hand.

Elrond held his breath. Numavia smiled and said, "Of course Estel, but I can't. You are not an elf and you can't keep up with our moves."

Estel slowly lifted his head and looked at her. For the first time with what looked like pride, "I know the steps Numavia. Dan and Ro taught me."

"Oh really, Dan and Ro eh? But…" Elrond in that moment knew that there was no way the young lady was going to let Estel dance with her. Estel had done a grave mistake in mentioning his brothers. The familiarity with which Estel spoke of his family is a bone of contention for years now and had even cropped up in council meetings.

Just as if on cue, a young elf came and asked her to dance. Numavia benignly smiled at Estel and mumbled a sorry before she left to dance with the elf.

Elrond's heart twisted in pain, but Estel merely smiled at her as if nothing had happened and walked back to the pillar where he was standing before. The twins walked up to him again and first Elladan and then Elrohir took a turn with Estel. It was a funny site and the twins tried to make him smile by their antics. Estel laughed and seemed to enjoy but then he looked at Elrond and his pained eyes looked like as if they were pleading Elrond for help. Elrond can't do a thing about others but then, he walked towards Estel who was just finishing his dance with Ro and calmly asked Estel to dance with him. The whole place came to a stand still. Elrond had not danced since the day Celebrian left on her fateful trip to Lothlorien. But then Lindir started playing a song and Elrond and Estel started dancing.

For a human, Estel did dance very well and Elrond thought that if the others don't see this much, then Estel was better off dancing with the elders. Estel was still pained but he also thanked Elrond gratefully.

For one so young Elrond noticed that Estel was quiet good at keeping thing to himself. Except for his immediate family and friends, no one could have realized how much Estel would feel hurt. Because of the height, Elrond almost carried Estel around with Estel's feet just skimming the floor, but still it was a beautiful dance. And both of them enjoyed it. Just as the dance was ending Estel heard someone nearby say, "Well, that was funny. And to think Elrond chose him to dance with after all these years."

Estel did not show any emotion at all. He merely bowed to Elrond who carefully watched him, but Estel did not look at him and asked him politely if he may be excused. Elrond nodded and watched as Estel walked out of the hall with as much dignity he could muster. If he had stayed, he would have heard Elrond refuse others who asked him to dance with them saying, "I already had my best dance." If he had stayed any further, he would have seen a poor elf sprawling on the floor after taking an unfortunate step while dancing with Elrohir.

Elrond went in search of Glorfindel and Erestor. Something has to be done about the way Estel get treated by the other elves of Imladris, and the sooner the better. This was just not the way to boost Estel's confidence and it's high time, Estel started feeling equal to the others rather than as a lowly being tolerated by them.

Meanwhile Estel was standing in his room, watching the moon outside his balcony and slowly removing each loop of his coat. He was trying so hard not to cry and was wondering if it would have been the same if he had gone with his mother all those years ago. His mother visits him every two years and she invariably asks him if he would rather come with her and try some human healer. Even though he was feeling more and more out of place in Imladris, he just cannot bear to leave his ada and brothers. He knew what he told his father all those years ago was still true.

"Estel…"

He turned to see Elladan leaning on his door and Estel's face crumbled. Dan and Ro always had that effect on him. He cannot hide anything from them; he cannot run away when they asked him what was wrong.

"Dan…" whispered Estel before Elladan took two quick steps and wrapped him in his arms. "Why do they hate me so, Dan?" "I can dance well, and I don't look that bad do I? And I don't smell do I?" Estel was asking so many questions and crying so hard that Elladan knew was better left unanswered until he calmed down. He managed to remove Estel's coat and loosen his own when Elrohir came in and sat next Elladan.

He rubbed Estel's back soothingly and sat in silence on Estel's bed for a while.

Estel's crying had subdued. And he was now comfortably lying on Elladan's chest while Elrohir continued to rub his back.

"Why do you love me?" Estel asked suddenly.

"Because you are special Estel. You brought us hope." Elrohir replied.

"Then why don't they see me as special?"

"Because they don't see what a nice boy you are."

Estel did not reply and the twins exchanged a glance. Then Elrohir began, "Estel, think of it like this. You belong to a race that everyone thought was inferior. But then you proved them wrong, now obviously they don't like you. Also, while there are so many elflings in Imladris, who gets the chance to learn sword fight and archery from the balrog slayer, who gets to be taught politics from the greatest strategician of middle earth? Who gets to be cuddled with the most handsome and fearsome Orc slayers? And who gets the chance to dance with the most graceful lord of all Imladris?"

The twins were smiling now and so was Estel, still in a doubtful voice, he asked, "So, they are jealous?"

"Yes, of course they are. Hell, even Dan and I are jealous of you sometimes."

Estel's eyes widened in surprise, "Why?"

Elrohir smiled and ruffled his hair as he said, "Because you get to jump in the mud and get dirty and still step inside the house, you get to wake up late and ada brings you breakfast to you room, because you get to plait Glorfindel's golden hair and he keeps in despite it looking ugly and because you get your brothers to pose for you sitting hours on end, just so you can paint an ugly picture of them…"

Estel was laughing now, "that's not fair, ada said the picture looked good."

The twins laughed and Elladan said, "Ada will say it was good even if you drew him in a yellow robe. He will also say you are handsome and you smell nice even if you turn into an orc. But we won't so let's go bathe Estel."

"Yeah, but you won't do a clean job of it and besides, we want to proudly show all the dimwitted elves of Imladris that we don't have an orc for a brother but a quiet nice little boy."

"I am not a young boy." Estel protested even as he got up and started taking his things

"So you are an orc?" was Dan's reply.

"No…." Estel whined as he followed his brothers to the bath.

That night Elrond walked into his chambers after quiet a satisfactory discussion with his advisors only to see a small white form curled up on his bed. Elrond smiled and got ready for a good nights sleep.

A week since the ball, it was a new dawn that brought a lot of surprises for Estel. First he was rudely woken up by Legolas, whom he had not seen since his 13th birthday. Next he met Dan and Ro, on the dinning table with their heads together plotting something. That in itself was not strange but what was strange was that they had their bow and swords ready with them. At first Estel thought that they were going hunting, but then they were wearing their ceremonial robes. Even as he wondered what it was all about Elrond walked in dressed similar to the twins.

"Ah, Estel, why aren't you ready yet?" Elrond was positively chirpy, which almost creeped Estel out. The last time Elrond was chirpy; Estel had to endure a hundred sloppy kisses on his tender seven-year-old cheeks when Elrond decided to celebrate Estel's birthday the elvish way.

"Ready for what ada?' Estel asked dubiously.

"Legolas, you didn't tell him?" Elrond looked at Legolas who looked at the twins who looked at Elrond.

"Oh fine, we are having a contest here. Hakara had left for Lothlorien to settle there permanently and as is the tradition, we are promoting a few up the rank and selecting a new guard from Imladris to fill his space. In another hour, all the young of Imladris will compete with each other in archery, sword fight, wrestling and strategy and we will select the best."

"Oh okay, wait ada, I will be ready in a minute."

The twins sniggered as Estel ran back to his room. Estel came down dressed in his ceremonial robes in the color of Elrond's house. Elrond couldn't help but smile how handsome Estel looked but he said "Estel, what are you doing wearing your robes, go dress in your practice cloths. You are participating in the name of the house of Elrond."

Estel just stood there shocked. He knew Elrond had something up his sleeve, but this was mad.

"Huh, ada, you want me to participate. But, how? I can't compete with elves." Estel protested.

"Why not, haven't you practiced with Dan, Ro, Legolas, Glorfindel and Erestor? Glorfindel says you compete on the weekly sparing matches with the regular class. That means you have already fought almost all of them."

"That's different ada"

"Estel, go get ready." Elrond said firmly.

"_You clumsy stupid oaf, why can't you just die a bit earlier and spare us all this torture?"_

"_You wanted to dance with Numavia huh? You should know you are not one of us and no one will dance with you. Ah wait, you did that just to get the Lord's attention as always didn't you?"_

"_You will never be worth anything more than charity. You know why you have to be here don't you? Else you will turn into a Morgoth's spawn."_

Estel shook his head; those taunts were not merely words.

"No!"

Estel's voice resounded in the whole hall. Shocked elves looked at Estel as if he had stabbed Elrond. Estel just stood there furious. When he spoke his voice was harsh and loud.

"Why do you want to humiliate me in front of everyone? You know I won't fare well. Are you mocking me just like everyone else? Your pitiful human is not an elf. It's a disgusting smelly thing that will one day die and rot." Legolas was the first to recover, he moved to touch Estel, but Estel jumped as if he was burnt. "Don't touch me, don't patronize me."

Estel was shaking now. His whole body shook as if he was doused in ice water. He appeared small and vulnerable with tears waiting to spill from those hazel eyes. But no one dared to get near him. Elrond recovered after what seemed like a full minute. He then calmly said in a matter of fact tone.

"I did this to prove that my son is better than half the elves of this realm. Either you can prove me right or prove me wrong. But you will always be my son." He looked up at Estel with piercing eyes and said, "If you think I have lied to you by not agreeing with the others, then so be it. If you think any less of me for this, so be it. But I won't change a thing about you nor the way I feel about you. Now you can fight for your honor or you can stay, it's up to you."

Elladan and Elrohir looked at Estel with understanding, but they did not jump to defend Estel.

Elrond walked out, followed by the twins. Estel's breathing was harsh and still his whole body shook. Legolas gave him a minute and then roughly pulled him up. "Are you going to fight or not?" Estel just stared at him. "Well, say something, are you going to let all those people who believed in you feel like fools. Are you going to let them mock Elrond for believing in you?" Estel said

"But, how can I fight with elves? And if I lose…"

"If you lose, you still would have fought! You fight as you always do and always will. Don't be selfish, this is not you alone here. This is about Elrond who has never bent his head in defeat to anyone, even in the last alliance. This is about your brothers who have bet a lock of their hair that you will win. This is about me, who has pledged his life to you."

"Legolas! What are you saying?"

"Yes, I pledge you my life. I won't leave middle earth as long as you walk here. Your father, or should I say Lord Elrond, had fought with half the council yesterday to include you in the contest and when they said that if you loose, some elf might just kill you in hatred, he said he would kneel in front of the elf and plead for your life if needed. Your Dan and Ro had bet their hair that you will win the sword fight, no matter which elf fought you."

"Legolas…"

"It's up to you Estel."

They sat there silently for a few minutes and then Estel drew in his breath. "Let me get ready. Wait for me."

Elrond sat in his chair flanked on either side by the twins. Glorfindel was calling out the names for the first round of selection at the archery field. Elrond's face was grim, he really hoped he could do something for Estel, but he was afraid that the damage was already done.

Just as Glorfindel read out the last name, Estel walked out with his bow and arrow. Glorfindel smiled and nodded including his name too. Elrond smiled and watched. Estel turned and bowed low to him and when he straightened; his eyes said a hundred apologies. Elrond gave him an open smile that said all was forgiven. An action not lost on many.

The archers took their stance. Legolas gave him last minute tips as he moved away to the sides. When Glorfindel gave the signal, the archers started firing. At the end of a minute, the arrows on the target were inspected. The other elves had hit about six or seven arrows all within the range of the bulls eye. Estel had hit only four but all of them were in the bulls eye.

Next was the sword fight. Estel won that easily. His short frame made him as nibble as the elves and he had more practice. Erestor left half way to meet a party from Lotherian. When he finally lifted his sword in victory, the first to rush to him were the twins, grinning like mad, they gleefully dragged the loosing elf and demanded that he run naked as promised by him the day before if he lost.

Elrond saw the respect reflected in a lot of eyes now. He himself saw Estel in new light. In front of him was a young man now, no longer the little Estel but still his Estel.

Estel also tied the strategy round with another elf. Now the decider was the wrestling. Elrond himself came down to wrap his hands in thick canvas and encourage him to fight with his heart. The match was such that it will go on until one gave up or lost consciousness or lost ground and only then will it end. Elrond loving pulled Estel's messy hair and tied it back. He then said, "I am proud of you Estel, you are a fine young man now."

Estel looked at him with glistening eyes, "I am sorry about what I said ada."

"It's alright Estel, if not us, who will you be a brat to. Now go, show them who you are."

The ring was set and Glrofindel read the rules. Estel's was the fifth fight. He waited calmly and then took the stage. He had fought with Glorfindel a hundred times and he knew all the moves. Glorfindel had taught him how to fight effectively with his human qualities. So, he was quiet sure he could win, that is until the first blow fell. Something cut deeply as the opponent elf's wrapped knuckles grazed his cheeks. Estel reeled back and touched his cheeks and found blood. A hush fell on the crowd. But Estel quickly recovered and started to fight. It was pretty clear to everyone that the elf had something sharp in his canvas, but no one can do a thing until Estel called a stop. Soon, Estel was filled with cuts all over while his opponent had few. But Estel kept at it until a sharp blow landed on his stomach. The hidden blades cut through skin and Estel screamed. Elrond was up in a second and was screaming for them to stop. He was about to jump over when Glorfindel stopped him. "Don't Elrond. Let him make his choice. There is no other way."

Estel heard his ada, and what he saw was a frantic Elrond arguing with Glorfindel. He slowly stood up and took a stance again. The other elf was not smart so Estel knew he can defeat him, if only he lasted to get a chance. A few blows later, Estel was woozy but the elf was getting over confident and started to look at his friends and smile. Estel was bleeding badly now, but he took a breath and waited. When the elf hit, he got it full on his chest. The pain was unbearable but he ignored it and immediately pulled the elf's hair back and aimed a powerful blow to his temples. The elf crumbled and did not move. Estel smiled and moved towards Elrond who was easily jumping over the fence.

"I won ada." Estel smiled and fell forward.

Elrond caught him and lifted him in a hug. He rushed to the healing ward, scarcely noticing his daughter standing with an anxious expression. Nor did he see, his sons, dragging the now recovering elf by the hair out of the arena. Glorfindel did not utter a word nor did Erestor.

Estel became a captain but he had to wait for 2 months to do so. His body this time did not recover as much as it usually did owing to a raging infection to his abdominal cut. Many nights he moaned and tossed in fever and sometimes he just lay there dead to the world and the anxious eyes watching over him. Once, he saw a vision of a fair maiden radiant in the dark, standing and watching him with a smile. He raised his hands to capture the ethereal being and to his surprise he did, but later he thought it was a dream.

Legolas was a constant companion and so were the twins, but Elrond was curiously absent. Something twisted inside Estel, and he wondered if he had done something wrong. But then he thought that Elrond could be busy taking care of things, even though he knew he was fooling himself.

Somewhere when Estel regained consciousness he was properly introduced to Arwen. He was fascinated by her to say the least and he was shy. She found it endearing in him that he should blush every time she smiled at him. She brought him flowers and she brought him food. She told him stories about Lotherian and the Lords of the Golden Woods. He hung to every word she said until an exhausting sleep would claim him. In the morning Legolas will come by and take him for a walk. Then the twins will join them and Estel would watch them spar while he himself rested under the shades of a cool tree.

Days went by and by then Estel was sure that he had done something wrong and that's why Elrond did not visit him. He thought over the match again and again and wondered where he had gone wrong. What he had done to shame Elrond. Estel was so good at keeping things to himself that no one wondered what was wrong when he was still recovering from the ordeal. But soon he grew anxious and people started noticing. One day he asked the twins, but they brushed it off as Elrond being busy. Then he asked Glrofindel who told him that Elrond was going to Mirkwood along with Legolas the following week. Estel knew that his friend was leaving but that Elrond was leaving hurt him deeply.

The final straw was when a day before Legolas' departure Estel tried to get Elrond during breakfast. He woke up early and waited for Elrond at the table ahead of everyone. When Elrond finally strode in, the elf looked startled just for a fraction of a second but then strolled away with his usual dignity and smile. Estel though knew his father and he noticed the slight haste in his steps and the smile that did not reach his eyes. Tears prickled his eyes but he did not shed them where passing maids can see. He dragged himself to his room and locked the door. A kind of rage was building inside him. He was sure he had done something and he hated himself for it. Without Elrond, it felt like he was pushed into a dark well. He thrashed his whole room in his rage and then disregarding his healing wounds, jumped out through the balcony and ran as fast as he can. He knew it was childish but he wanted to do something with all the anger. A sane part of him told him that he should return before he did worse damage to himself. Estel grimly acknowledged but still kept running.

Arwen was the one who found his door locked. Legolas was with her and together they urged Estel to open the door. But there was no response. The twins joined them and then the advisors and then finally Elrond who was busy readying the necessary documents for his journey. Finally they had no option but for one of them to get through the balcony and open the door; the room was in total disarray with glass broken and strewn on the floor. Erestor found the drops of blood that lead to the rails, not that it was difficult to know what Estel had done. But Erestor simply said,

"Well, now you have no other go but to find him and talk to him."

Elrond drew in a breath and gave him an angry look.

"Ada, you have to ada, I am sure he will understand if you explain. We know what he did was foolish ada, but it was not because of you."

Elrohir pleaded but Elrond shook his head miserably. He then finally said, "I know Elrohir, don't you know this hurts me more than anything? But he has to be weaned out of my shadow. If he can willingly die for mere words spoken, what will he do in battle? What will he do when he has to take tough decisions? He has to know that emotions alone are not good. He could have died in his foolish pride. His worship of us has gone long enough."

"Such is the ways on men Elrond. Such is their strength too. If only I hadn't spoken to him…" Legolas said.

"He still would have done it, although he would have taken a bit longer. We know Estel." Ro cut in.

"But this is how he is. He has always done impossibly foolish things for you Elrond. Parvion is a living proof."

"I know Legolas, and that is why I have to do this, this is not good for a man and least of all a future king. Let him come back on his own and I am sure he will. Then I will talk to him."

Elrond strode out but the twins waited, they exchanged a look with Legolas and all three of them jumped over the rails and silently went looking for Estel. They came back in the evening without Estel. Elrond himself was growing worried but he waited. A storm was brewing, whether it was a natural one or the one he is stirring in his mind that was in chaos was beyond even him. But Elrond had enough sense to calm down and let it get down to a drizzle.

Finally at midnight a lone figure stumbled inside the last homely. Estel was unsteady to say the least but he kept on walking. Chunwe was warned and he stepped up to help Estel to the infirmy, but he was rudely pushed aside. Erestor watched but did not move. Glorfindel tried talking but Estel did not hear him. He slowly pushed himself to Elrond's room. Elrond was not asleep, and he knew who was coming even before the door opened. But he did not turn. Estel was gulping for air now. But he made his way to Elrond. The others stayed outside afraid what was going to happen next.

Estel gently tugged at Elrond's robe, just as he had done since he was two. Somehow the gesture melted Elrond beyond anything. With tears in his eyes, Elrond turned to explain, but Estel beat him to it. He slid to the ground on his knees and looked up. Eyes as lost as he was a child.

"What did I do? I don't know ada. Maybe something un- unforgivable, but please ada, don't let me go there."

Elrond look at him baffled.

"Dark..."

"Estel… What are you saying?"

Estel spoke like a drunken man, "they… coming for me ada. Just one more time, love me ada, and then set me free."

Elrond was shocked and confused. He just stared at him. Nobody dare move, "Just one more time, please ada, give me a hug and say you love me even if you don't. And then I can go ada, please, I am begging you."

Estel was badly wheezing by now, but he slowly crawled towards Elrond's foot and tugged at his feet. Elrond moved forward a step in shock. Estel fell forward and he looked at Elrond with eyes so pathetic that Elrond took a step towards him. The full implication of what Estel was saying was just hitting everyone including Elrond. Estel sobbed and bent down on all fours with shuddering limbs. Only then did Elrond notice the blood pooling on the floor.

"Estel! Oh Valar, what have you done." Elrond had fully recovered and he was gathering Estel in his arms. Estel was wet and shivering but he seemed not to mind. He stuttered and whispered, "I don't know ada. Please tell me what I did ada. Please I am sorry, I am sorry ada please ada, please, sorry. Cold ada, cold and dark, can't see ada can't see. Ada don't leave me here ada, don't leave me here. They will take me ada. Please sorry, am sorry"

Elrond indicated for someone to get the fire, and asked Elladan to get dry cloths. Chunwe was already waiting with fresh bandages.

Elrond lifted Estel to his own bed and started cutting out Estel's soaked cloths and blood stained bandages. But Estel seemed to be totally unaware. He kept repeating sorry.

"Estel, look at me" Elrond's command penetrated the foggy brain of Estel and he focused, but his eyes kept rolling.

Estel's slurred sorry still kept falling though.

Elrond, carefully examined Estel's scratches and something stuck him. "Get the jar of leaches. He is poisoned. Also get the Nanari leaves and make a paste and effusion."

Elrond moved to get the nearby table set, but Estel gripped his robes and pleaded, "ada, I am sorry, sorry, don't leave me, don't leave me alive here, ada. If you leave they will take me. I don't want… not without you ada… dark…"

Elrond gasped and said, "No Estel, I am not going anywhere, I am not. See I am here." But Estel hardly seemed to be aware. "Don't leave me, sorry, sorry, It's dark its dark, ada, don't go, I beg you I beg you, please, please please..."

And only then, the healer in Elrond took a step back and he hugged Estel close to his chest and cried his heart out.

Estel, kept repeating his words, but he was getting exhausted and his speech was getting more and more slurred. His eyes were dialated and unsteady. And the trembling was becoming something like a seizure. His breathing was so difficult by now that he was gasping for air. By the time, Elladan was cutting Estel's cloths and Elrohir was also examining the scratches closely.

Erestor was watching from the entrance, he looked thoughtful and then he said,

"You think he is reliving his childhood trauma?"

"Yes, he used to get dreams of Orcs chasing him… but…"

"Elrond, I know that he was poisoned by those thorns, do they cause delirium though?"

Elrond looked at him from where he was still holding Estel in his lap, "Yes".

"So, can we safely assume that what Estel is blabbering now, is in real his deepest darkest fears?"

Elrond did not answer, he just stared at Erestor and so did everyone else. Glorfindel shook his head slowly. Elladan and Elrohir exchanged that understanding look that they get when they are thinking together. Legolas just stared at Estel and Elrond alternatively.

"Ah, well, seems like the damage is already done. You will not be going to Mirkwood will you Elrond?" No one can accuse Erestor of tact.

The leaches drained out the poison but also left Estel weak. He could barely stay conscious for more that a few minutes the following week. Legolas stayed for two more weeks but couldn't stay any longer. Finally, when Estel was able to stay awake for a while and his blood replenished in its own time, Elrond sat down to talk to him.

But Estel, seemed to have forgotten what he spoke in this poison induced delirium. He asked Elrond what he had done to make him avoid him for weeks.

"You put your life on the line for a worthless contest Estel, and that too because I told you to. It's foolish and stupid to do such a thing. What if he had killed you there Estel?"

Estel did not reply but just hung his head, "I don't know ada, I am unable to think like you do sometimes. At that moment, all that mattered was that I should make you proud. That I should win even if the odds were against me."

Elrond, understood then. No matter what he thought, Estel's mind will always work like a human and in his own way he was right.

"I am always proud of you Estel. But I would have been heartbroken if you had died right?"

"Yes ada, I am sorry for making you feel so bad. It's really okay that you wanted me to win. It wasn't your fault."

Elrond looked at him startled. How this young man sitting in front of him could read him like an open book. The guilt that has been eating away for so long in Elrond since the incident surfaced and made his eyes hard.

"I am sorry for putting you through that Estel"

"Oh ada, if you don't push me, I won't go anywhere. For you, I can do anything ada and that's what makes me happy anyway."

Suddenly everything was simple and plain bright with no gray. That innocence of Estel in merely giving all and being happy about it made Elrond feel like the richest man on Arda.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_I had a feeling I am making Estel the victim of a lot of things. So I held back this chapter. But I couldn't revise it any other way. So I am just letting the story take its own course for now._

When Estel was 17 Elrond, Estel, and the twins left for Lothlorien. It was something they did once in a decade or so. It was a ritual where Elrond and his sons will visit Lothlorien for a ceremony in memory of Celebrian. They would walk the forests of Lothlorien and remember the wife and mother they have to wait a thousand years more to meet again.

It was a week long affair where they would solemnly sing her praise and Elrond and the twins along with Celeborn and Galadriel will write her letters that would be taken to her through the gray ships.

It was a painful process for Elrond and the twins and that's why they did not indulge in it often. In fact since Estel's arrival, this was the first time they are doing it and that too after a note arrived from Galadriel requesting their presence for the ritual, a not so subtle reminder that he had forgotten something important. Elrond did not show any unease but he grew very quiet and avoided his sons. Elladan and Elrohir did the same but sometimes were not as bad as Elrond.

Strangely, Estel did not protest, but kept following them. He was curious though. He had never seen a picture of Celebrian he had not seen a single article that belonged to her. Bu suddenly, her things and her memory hung around like a hick fog. He felt jealous and left out, but he also understood his ada's and brother's reaction. They have never set him aside like this before and he did not feel angry towards them, but he did not like Celebrian having so much effect on them.

Long lost doubts began to surface. He wondered if they will all leave him for her someday too soon. He couldn't take it when just four days before they set of the Lothlorien, Elrond and the twins set to pack for their journey with painstaking care. Elrond opened a room in the west end of the last homely and with great care took each article and packed them, dresses of the softest cotton and silk, diamond broaches and hair clips, buck skin slippers, silver and glass tea sets.

For Estel who was the center of attention for over 15 years, this was his first experience with being ignored. And he did not take it well. He grew more and more despondent but only Glorfindel seem to notice. He wanted to say something to Elrond but the matter was taken out of his hands with just two days to go for the trip.

Estel was hoping that Elrond will at least tell him something before he left although he knew the details of the trip from Glorfindel and Erestor. But neither Elrond nor the twins came down for breakfast at all. After fiddling with his spoon for a while, Estel stood up and walked to the West end room where he was sure to see Elrond. True to his thoughts, Elrond was puttering around the room collecting objects to be packed.

"Ada…"

Elrond merely grunted.

"Ada, you were not at breakfast"

"Hum…"

Estel sighed, seems like Elrond would not even look at him. He wandered around the room and in an absent minded gesture kicked at a badly ragged patchwork blanket.

The next thing he knew, he was lying on the ground holding his right cheek. A few drops of blood dripped from the gap of his fingers. He was too shocked to even move and Elrond stood in front of him stock still with rage in his eyes. But even as Estel watched, the deep furrows loosened and stretched and his grim lips slowly parted in shock. The transformation from fury to horror took only a few seconds, but Estel felt each muscle on Elrond's face shift and change for what seemed like an eternity. At the end of what seemed like a lifetime, he felt strangely bereft and alone.

He slowly stood up still holding his cheek and dropped his head and in what looked like lightning speed, disappeared out of the room. Elrond looked at his right hand and then at the door, his expression frozen in horror.

Estel meanwhile walked uncertainly through the corridors of the last homely. His hands that now hung loosely at his sides had one of them still dripping blood. His cheek was a red mess that bled so much that it spilled grotesquely on his white tunic. The pain was throbbing and he could feel the cut from the middle of his cheek to the middle of his neck. He ideally wondered if it was the ruby diamond that Elrond wore on his right hand.

He should have made a sight, because a maid who stepped opposite him screamed and dropped the glasses she carried. Estel looked at her strangely and kept on walking barefoot as if the scattered glass was of no consequence. He was not sure where he was going and would have just walked on if Elladan and Erestor had not come in. One look at Estel and Elladan hastily took a step forward. For some reason, Estel did not feel reassured, he just stepped back.

"Estel…"

Estel did not hear anything, a roaring buzz inside his head distracted him and he rested his back on the adjacent wall. But that only made him dizzier and Estel slid to the floor unconscious.

Estel came through when he felt a sharp pain like a needle prick on his neck. He opened his eyes to see Elrohir leaning over him with a needle. It all came in a rush to Estel, but he willed himself to relax. Elladan noticing that Estel was awake took his hand and whispered.

"How are you feeling Estel?"

"Fine. But I can feel the needle."

Elrohir looked up at him and asked, "Is it too painful? We can apply some more salve though it will make the skin slippery"

"No Ro, its okay. It's not that bad."

No one said anything for a while. But then Estel couldn't bear it any longer.

"Where is ada?"

Elladan and Elrohir exchanged a look and then Elladan said

"He told us what happened Estel. Forgive him. What you kicked was our mother's hand made blanket and her first gift to ada? That just does not justify what he did but…"

"It's okay Dan" Estel did not speak any further and the twins for once didn't know what to say.

They asked him to stay in the healing chamber for the night and told him that one of them will come and stay after dinner.

Alone, Estel tossed and turned. On one hand he felt an urge to hurt Elrond, but on the other was an overwhelming need to forget the whole episode and get his ada back. He watched the afternoon sun stream in listlessly for a while but then after a while, he couldn't take it any more and he stood up.

The pain draught made him a bit woozy, but he supported himself and slowly walked out. The stairs was a challenge and he passed Erestor, who merely checked his wound once and then supported him up the stairs before he went on his way.

Estel slowly made his way to the one room that had been safest place for him. He did not hesitate to open the door, neither did he think twice about call out to the one person who had always been his source of light.

But Elrond was not prepared for him. He had thought a hundred ways Estel could punish him, a hundred ways to ask forgiveness but not for meeting the wronged. Elrond had slowly walked out to see Estel unconscious and the twins hovering over him. Elrond himself had tears in his eyes as he examined the damage he had done to Estel. The twins were furious and Elladan has pushed his hands aside when he touched Estel's cheeks and Erestor has been the most punishing, he had dragged Elrond up and looked hard at him, but his words stung the most

"You are truly a worthless man Elrond for what you have done. Even an orc would behave better than you. Here is a child and a man who is looking up to you, who has given you something wholeheartedly without expecting anything from you except a chance to be around you, and you are blinded by an age old ritual that has lost its meaning except for its pain. If you want to take out your guilt, you should have at least had the grace to do it on yourself."

Elrond could not dispute anything. The loss of someone dear as Celebrian always stayed with him, but for a decade now, the pain has grown less and less. Somehow the first thoughts he had on getting up was his work for the day and Estel and the twins rather than the empty space next to him. The first place he went to on waking up was Estel's room followed by the twins rather than the musty old room in the west wing. He hadn't realized it, but he had started to live again in the past fifteen years. And he knew it was for that precious gift much more precious than the one ring.

But he had never wanted to forget Celebrian and he realized he had, only after Garadriel's reminder. He had been appalled and had in a way regretted it and regretted Estel replacing so much of her space in his life and heart. He had avoided Estel in the hope of hiding his feelings, but Estel just as always had followed him like a puppy. He never intended to hurt Estel but he had done it on reflex. Even then he had not realized the damage he had wrought until he actually saw Estel. He had been wearing the ring that Galadriel and Celebron had gifted him on the day of his wedding with Celebrian. It had a star entwined with a creeper that had intricate leaves set around the ring. It was in mitril and had so clearly cut through Estel's skin that it only had a faint trace of blood on one of the leaves edge.

Elrond knew that he would be forgiven. And he knew he had to work for it, but not this soon. He just stood there watching Estel woozily holding on to the door. But what really caught Elrond's attention was those pleading eyes he had not seen for over years now. The fears and insecurities that had been banished since the poisoning two years ago were all back. Elrond looked at those eyes and said, "I am sorry Estel."

Estel did not even seem to recognize what Elrond was saying, he merely walked forward slowly to the bed and said, "Can I stay here ada?"

Elrond could not understand what was going on with Estel but he nodded. Estel tentatively reached him and slowly as if doubtful that he may be thrown out lent in on Elrond. Elrond hugged him and with that Estel's world was right.

"Estel, I am sorry for..."

"Its okay ada"

"Estel?"

"Its okay ada" Estel repeated but his voice broke.

"Estel, I am sorry."

"Don't say that, it's okay. Don't say sorry. Sorry I kicked her blanket. I was lonely and jealous and I …." Estel was crying softly and clinging to Elrond.

Estel was no longer a child. He was a young man leading elves on border patrols. He was a young man who spared with Glorfindel and rode with the twins. He has slayed more orcs that most elves do in a lifetime. But with Elrond he was always a needy clingy child who couldn't handle a few harsh words from him. Elrond felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and dread by this. He questioned if he had somehow bewitched the boy unknowingly. He dreaded the day he would no longer be needed to satisfy Estel's needy side but most of all he dreaded the day Estel's obsession with him would interfere with the future of Arda

"I understand Estel, I am the one who hurt you. I behaved worse than an orc. You are too forgiving to me Estel."

"No ada, I pledged myself to you remember. I wrote it out and gave it to you for your birthday long ago. That means you can hurt me if you want."

"Estel! Stop saying such things. It's unhealthy. Every relationship should have a balance. You are not my slave. You are my son."

"If I was born to her and I did something wrong, you will still hit me right."

"No estel, even then I shouldn't. I was just…"

"I know ada that's why I trust you. I need to be strong ada. But to be strong, I need to be week somewhere. I trust you to let me be weak ada. But that also means that sometimes you forget to… to hold back your anger with me."

"That doesn't excuse hurting you Estel. Forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive ada. Just don't leave me out. You are what makes the day begin for me ada. There is nothing I wont forgive or not give for you."

"Estel, someday you will find someone for that. You just have to wait and watch out."

"Why do you keep saying that ada? Am I not worthy of it from you? If not tell me what to do and I will do it. Anything ada. Just don't turn me away like you did this past few weeks ada. It hurts so much. I don't want to eat or sleep or breathe when you are not there. I feel alone and dead. Please ada. I will do anything."

"Estel, stop it. I don't know if I can give as much as you give me Estel."

"That's okay ada. Just don't turn me away. Scold me, hit me, do anything as long as you don't turn me away, its okay."

"Estel…"

Estel did not respond but sighed and rested his head on Elrond's shoulder. Elrond's mind was in turmoil but when he looked down Estel was asleep. He sighed and rested on the pillow without disturbing Estel. His last thoughts were that the wound is going to scar and remind him all his life of what he had done to Estel.

Dawn was just breaking. A time when Celebrian used to walk the gardens watching the flowers bloom and sing for them. Elrond eased himself out of bed careful not to wake Estel who slept soundly. Later that night the twins had come by to make sure Estel was safe.

They have forgiven him with an understanding that comes with sharing the effects of Estel on Celebrian's memory on all their minds. The air was fresh and cold, the mist giving a magical appearance to the gardens. Elrond thought it strange that he had never taken a walk this early in the gardens since Celebrian left.

As he wandered among the blooming flowers, Elrond thought of all the things that has shaped his life; the battles, the births the deaths, and the love. But no matter how long he had lived. He still felt that life threw newer things at him. He kept changing and his heart kept taking some and leaving some. For good or bad, Elrond had left behind Celebrian. After centuries of bemoaning her loss, after surviving countless attempts by the most beautiful elves in Arda, all it took was a wide eyed innocence and devotion of a small mortal to topple his ancient heart.

'Don't turn me away' was what Estel had said. Elrond wanted so much to turn him away for his own good, to let him go and live a normal human life. The time will come when Estel must leave for the good of Arda. And Elrond as he had done once before must step back steel his heart and let go. He just hoped he had the strength to do so.

But what really bothered Elrond was Estel's lack of interest in anyone other than his family and the ancient elves in Imladris and Legolas. He had not looked at or shown any interest in elves or humans. He had heard from Glorfindel that the twins had taken him to a respectable party where young men and women meet but Estel had resisted and turned down any offer he had received. Elrond had hoped that Arwen's magic might work, but it hadn't.

He had long known that neither Elladan nor Elrohir were going to take wives in Arda. He also knew that they took their pleasure where offered freely without tangles. He did not grudge them though because they are immortal and they still have Valinor to look forward to. But Estel was growing and he will grow old. Given that one day he ought to be king, he has to take some interest in someone.

"He came to you I suppose."

Elrond had been so deep in thought that he did not realize Glorfindel approach.

"Yes"

"So, will you keep him?"

Elrond was disturbed by how Glorfindel was talking of Estel as a sort of pet.

"Glorfindel! He is not a pet for me to keep him. And you know who he really is and what he really must do."

"Well, sometimes you just give someone what they want just so that they don't go looking for it somewhere else unsafe."

"I wish he would. I wish he would place all this devotion somewhere else."

"Do you Elrond? Or are you afraid where this will lead."

Elrond looked up at Glorfindel for the first time since he came and slowly nodded.

"Yes, I am afraid where this is going."

"Ah, let it go where it wants to go. Meanwhile be happy with what you have. It's a rare gift, the love of a king."

"You seemed to have a lot of faith in him."

"I have faith that Estel will do anything to please you. Even if it means becoming the king he is meant to be."

"Glorfindel…"

"I merely stated the truth. Anyway, I suggest you take him with you to Lothlorien; its better that Galadriel sees him now than way later when things have progressed too far."

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing…" with that the ancient elf walked away serenely.

In the end, Estel did go with them. And it was not as much as a party of mourning elves than that of exasperated elves who had to keep one human young man safe from his own curiosity.

Watching Estel outside of Imladris as a young man melted something in Elrond. A feeling he had unknowingly locked away after Estel stepped into his teens. He felt like Estel had not grown at all and that he was still a two year old who clung to him.

What Glorfindel said had stuck a cord in Elrond. He understood and recognized that fear of being worshipped and adored. He also understood now that what Estel was doing was using him as an anchor in his uncertain life all the more highlighted in contrast with elven immortality, the fear of an inevitable death that chased every moment of a human.

He had spoken to the twins that day about leaving the excess baggage they usually carried with them on such trips, the effects of Celebrian. And Elrohir, surprising had stated that maybe they should lock the room away and leave it that way if it means Estel would feel more comfortable.

That day when they locked the room in the west wing, they were not in pain but in fond memory and knowledge that the room will be opened when the time came, but now it was their time to live on Arda without the baggage of a pain long inflicted.

When Elrond sheepishly admitted that he did behave like an orc and would like to take Estel with him to Lothlorien, Erestor smiled that special smile he held only for those he thought had done something good.

Estel himself was all smiles despite the painful healing scar when Elrond brought him breakfast that day and ruffled his hair like he used to when he was a kid. A smile that stayed on his face the whole day as the twins and Elrond sat in his room and packed his bag for the trip to Lothlorien.

On the way, Estel had so much fun bathing in the rivers and cooking food with his family and watching the stars with his brothers. He even took lessons from Elrond with Hadafang in the morning. Finally, they arrived in the golden woods after 2 weeks of riding. It did not miss any ones notice that it could have been done in a week if it was only the elves.

Galadriel knew something has changed the minute the party stepped in her realm. She knew about Estel and she knew how much her son-in-law has changed since the boy's arrival. But she has not expected this. Elrond looked younger and happier.

The boy followed Elrond and the twins like a puppy and they in turn doted on him. In fact when they climbed up to the talan of Galadriel's they playfully let Estel climb first on his own and then followed. Galadriel watching from the top though understood why after looking at the anxious faces of the three elves watching the boy's every step.

As they part-took their meals and talked, she notices Elladan and Elrohir taking turns to breaking open the hard nuts served to everyone and handing Estel the opened nuts leisurely. She also saw Arwen who was sitting with her father watching Estel closely the oblivious young man indulging in the feast.

Galadriel had expected Estel to leave or at least be escorted by one of the twins as the meals were done and the conversation turned to politics and affairs of the Arda. But to her surprise Estel actively participated in these discussions. As they talked on late in the night, Celebron pointed out that Estel was nodding his head in sleep. But what really surprised the lord and lady of the golden woods was the way Elrond pulled the boy to him and rested the boy's head gently on his lap and petted the unruly curls. Elrond then ask Elladan for a specific salve which he then proceeded to apply gently on the scar running down the young man's cheek. Galadriel fumed as the young man smiled sleepily at Elrond and took his hand and held on as he slept.

The contented sigh Estel gave was not lost on any one nor was the fact that neither the twins nor Elrond thought anything of a gesture like that. When they called it a day, Elladan took Estel from Elrond and gently carried him on his shoulder carefully down the rope ladder while Elrond and Elrohir followed with Arwen.

"To think that it would take a mere mortal" Was Galadriel's first words to her spouse once they were alone.

"Precisely the reason why you should let it be. After all, what is a mortal life to elven immortality?"

"I wouldn't standby and watch them sully my daughter's memory."

"They are merely happy."

"How? While not a day passes by here without us bemoaning her loss."

"There are some magics of the heart. Do not grudge them their time"

"My granddaughter's heart then?"

"Will have to break and then mend"

Galadriel sighed. Her anger was true, but it was not her place to censor Elrond. She for that reason let things be.

To Estel, these were the happiest days. He went on patrols with his brother's and the Lorian elves, spent his evenings with Elrond watching the woods where Celebrian and his ada began their life. He also got along well with most elves and even spent sometime with Celebron in the study. Galardrial watched as the twins washed his hair or how Elrond chose his food. She watched Elladan showing him his favourite tree with its swing where Celebrian used to sing to them while her children played on the swing. The coarse laughter of Estel's as the brothers swung him high grated on Galadrials nerves. The whole of Lotherian talked as Elrond took Estel his sons and Arwen to the waterfall where Celebrian had her special garden. To the elves the garden was a shrine to their daughter's memory and not many liked the fact that a human stepped in it.

Estel did not seek out Galadriel though. He could sense her unease and he kept away from her. He felt her thoughts intruding his mind at night raising past nightmares and newer ones. But he did not know who it was. They got so worse that his screams one night woke the whole woods. But it did not have the effect Galadriel hoped for. All the probing raised hidden and half formed fears from the past, but it also brought Elrond to his side. The lord of Imladris spent the night lightly dozing while Estel rested besides.

There were no nightmares after that, but that gave a clue to what could have caused Estel's nightmares. He understood Galadriel's fears though. No mother would want her daughter forgotten especially when she is waiting to reunite with her family someday. But Elrond also understood that sometimes its good to keep those in the past there and those in the future waiting while living in the present.

The twins pranked everyone is sight; Arwen mooned over Estel every chance she got. Estel wandered around following the twins or Elrond and hiding from Galadriel and Arwen. But overall it was a good trip. Meanwhile they attended the rituals, sang songs in praise of Celebrian, and recounted the stories of Celebrian's life. But somehow the family of Elrond did not seem as broken as it was at the last ritual. Elrond realized that finally they have given up on guilt; they can miss her without their own added baggage.


	12. Chapter 12

_I know it's a long long time since I wrote. I had the worst case of writers block and didn't write anything at all for the past months, but then, I realized that unless I try, I won't get past it. This chapter is the result and I am mighty glad I did. Not one of my bests, but I think I am getting back my words slowly._

Chapter 12

The lord of Imladris was usually a very amiable elf. Chances are that you will get a full length answer with bonus elements of a subtle smile and a raised eyebrow if you managed to ask him something while he walked down the corridor. But of late it wasn't even possible to catch him anywhere outside a council or a meeting. Visitors kept appearing at all hours and the lord unfailingly attended to them personally.

The twins were on a diplomatic mission to Mirkwood and Erestor and Glorfindel have taken up residence in the pantry and the garison respectively. Mobelizing the descent folks of arda to fight against evil was no easy task and Elrond was on a tireless mission to gain as much support as possible when the time would come for them to fight against the rising forces of Mordar. But none was as busy as Estel, and unlike others, Estel was busy hiding.

The past few years have been the best and the worst for Estel. His body had finally shed the remaining fat and the hard lines of a man slowly etched and carved on their own. He no longer doubted his own abilities and relished in learning and discovering more. And most of all, he not only knew his place in his family but now as a captain, also knew his place in the life of Rivendell. Despite everything, the only thing he had wished for was the presence of his mother and when she came, he was overjoyed. But as months went by, he was not sure for she thrust on him a subject he has deliberately avoided at all cost. She was not by any means the first to attempt and interest him in the dynamics of love. Only the elves have been subtle or tried to be.

On that particular summer morning, Elrond was walking back exhausted after spending the entire night in the library. He and Erestor were looking for a document signed by some obscure human lord generations ago. Elrond would have cared less if not for the lord's grandson's grandson who is demanding a ransom for a horse his forefather lent Elrond long ago. As the Lord of Imladris walked through the silent corridors to his chamber, just for a moment, he thought of pushing the man into Bruinen but then shook his head with a smile and walked on.

His chamber was quiet but his elven ears can still hear quiet breathing. Elrond sighed with a tinge of sadness; seems like there was no breaking Estel out of the habit. He prayed that his son only chose a better place than the balcony. He went into his bed chamber and looked around, then with another long sigh looked under the bed. Sure enough he found a lump swathed in a bundle of blankets revealing nothing except for the tip of a dark haired head. Elrond's heart lurched as he noticed the way Estel had huddled close to the wall. He watched the slow rise and fall of Estel's chest and let his mind relax to its rhythm. He no longer had the luxury of watching his son with all the tenderness and love the mortal raised in his eyes any more. It ached to see Estel hiding under the bed or huddled out side in the balcony despite the cold but he kept telling himself that it's all for Estel's good.

Estel has grown in the past few years. He was well built as his muscles have filled out and his gait was majestic. Yet, his eyes sparkled with an innocence that was oddly out of place. He was aiding Glorfindel with the border patrols and had generally gained the goodwill and respect of his fellow warriors. But to Elrond's dismay, he had not gained any friends among them just as he had not yet managed to gain any lover among the lot of Arda.

The first thing Gilraen noticed when she landed in Imladris was that Elrond still puts her son to bed every night and even allows him to sleep in his room some nights. She had taken Elrond to task for that. They had had an argument that lasted hours and in the end, she had made it very clear that Estel despite everything was her son and future king of men. Despite his anger, Elrond was very much aware of the truth in her words. To that end, he had agreed to take a step back and let Gilraen do what's needed for her son.

Knowing Estel, he did not change the way he was around Estel, only he reduced their interaction as much as possible. He explained to Estel that he cannot snuck into his room like he was a little boy and that he cannot expect to get their attention all the time now that they were all busy with so much work. Estel agreed except for extracting a promise from Elrond that he can still find a refuge in his room when he was troubled.

Only, Estel from then on spent more time with the patrols and in the libraries. Even when Estel came back from a patrol the first thing he did was to check on Elrond. Gilraen soon noticed that keeping Elrond away from Estel necessarily did not mean that Estel stayed away from Elrond or that he sought others for company. Elrond knew that she had a halting discussion with her son and, to her horror; she realized that her son had no experience or interest when it came to women. She had fumbled around her words trying to see if there was anything indicating that Estel liked men but even that proved inconclusive. She had been worried that Estel would take an elven wife or marry some woman from Gondor or Rohan. In her opinion, the blood of the numenor must grow stronger and not diluted. To that end, she had brought with her the three most eligible girls with Numenorean blood, hoping that Estel would get a chance to see them and choose one if he was so inclined. But of late she has taken to forcing the matter as evident by Estel hiding in Elrond room. Dawn was breaking and soon Gilraen will be checking on Estel. Elrond bent further down.

"Estel"

Estel was never an easy person to wake. Elrond bent further down and tugged at the blankets cocooning his son.

"Get up Estel; you have to get back to your room"

A muffled groan and a shuffling ensued and just like most parents, Elrond just knew what was going to happen.

"Estel, watch the…"

He never got to finish the sentence for there was a loud bang accompanied by the cot shuddering and a hard curse. Estel finally emerged rubbing his head hard. His hair was mostly out of its plait sticking on all sides and his cloths were all rumpled. Elrond smiled fondly and examined the lump that was forming on his head.

"What are you doing under the bed Estel, you couldn't sleep like us ordinary folks on the cot is it?"

Estel frowned as if to clear his thoughts and then sighed dejectedly. "Ordinary folks like you don't get chased by women."

Elrond laughed and the dawning day somehow promised to be brighter for Estel. It was rare for Estel to see his ada laugh of late. Or maybe, he was not around the ancient elf enough to see him smile and laugh. He did not like it, but he knew that sometimes it's better to settle for what he can get than lose something all together. The others looked at him as a young man yet to know the ways of the world, someone who is yet to see the best and the worst of life. Anyone in Imladris including Elrond would have sworn that the past three years were the most peaceful and happy ones for Estel. But only Estel knew that he had fought a great battle within himself and had only now come to an understanding of who he is and what he must do.

Estel remembered the day it all began. He had accompanied his brothers on patrol and they had come across a wandering tribe of nomads. They were friendly and soon the brothers were imbibing tankards of a strange drink and dancing with the men and women. Estel had been cautious but his brothers had plied him alcohol and pulled him into the dance. Elladan playfully pushed him towards a couple of women and walked away to find other amusements. The women were all young and pretty, and he found touching them fascinating. Their smooth marble like skin was so soft and yet their touch thrilled him no end. They smiled tenderly at him and offered to show him the peaks of pleasure. He knew everyone wanted him to experience it. Otherwise, his brothers would not have planned this and left him alone with the women, but somehow as he shed his clothes and felt strange hands wandering the expanse of his skin, an unknown apprehension had crawled through his spine. He felt exposed and in a way afraid to let himself go. And then one of the women had tried to kiss him, the image of a smiling elf popped into his head and alcohol or not, it jolted him into motion. In a flash he was out of there.

Later, Elrohir had admitted that they had arranged the encounter after much deliberation with Elrond and that they had taken every precaution to ensure that it was purely educational and nothing untoward happened. That had for some reason hurt Estel a lot. Though his failure with the women was a subject of hilarity to his brothers, he could also sense that they were worried.

That day was the first of many such attempts by his family to interest him in sex or romance and the more they tried the more it became clear to him that his fascinations lay with the one elf in the whole of Arda who looks upon him as a son. He may have lived a sheltered life but he knew falling in love with one's own father was not a normal thing to do. He studied every culture and every lore and soon realized how much of a sin he had committed. But no matter how hard he tried, his tortured soul always went back to Elrond. He tried everything he can to cure himself of his affliction and yet using his iron will to hide it from all, but his feeling did not change. One thing he was sure about though was that he will never be in a million years be able share his heart with anyone other than Elrond. Estel already had the affections of Elrond and perhaps that was drove Estel to cherish what he had than angst over what he will never have. Over the years, his physical attraction to the love of his life became a mere itch in the tide of love and care he received from the same. He had no intention of every revealing his feelings to Elrond. He simply saw no need for it. He will grow older and one by one people will give up on him getting married, and then he will be free to be in his ada's company all he wants till his last breath.

"Wake up Estel, don't sleep sitting down" Elrond murmured with affection. Estel woke up from his day dreams to gentle fingers rubbing the bump on his head.

Birds have started their gentle chirping outside in preparation for the day, but Estel's heart yearned for time to stand still just for a while longer.

"Ada…" Estel

Elrond sometimes wondered how just that one word can hold so many meaning. Right now it spoke of a yearning deep down in his son. It pained him that Estel would not confide in him and yet he had no one but himself to blame for the distance that had grown between them. At this moment though, Elrond wanted to do something to ease Estel's pain without losing Gilraen's favor.

"It's a bright dawn Eru has blessed us with Estel. Wash up and I will braid your hair today."

Estel was instantly awake. This was a treat he had not anticipated. Elrond smiled and went on.

"And if you promise to go take part in the dinner and dance at the Dunedain's camp tonight, I will even speak with your mother about you accompanying me to the banks of Bruinen to collect some herbs."

Estel did not like the dinners and dances any more. The three girls who were gentle and sweet are increasingly aggressive in their pursuits. At least Aruilia was clumsy enough to make him laugh, but the other two… Estel shuddered. On the other hand, accompanying Elrond to Bruinen meant a whole day's trip and that included lunch and it will be just the two of them. That was worth battling over 100 orcs in his books.

Estel smiled and nodded his sleepy head happily. "Yes, ada, just give me some time before I bathe."

For the thousandth time in his life, Elrond wondered how that one smile from Estel could chase away all the weariness from his bones and make him feel a thousand years younger.

"You promised Hir nin. And now you are again whisking him off alone to collect herbs of all things. What is he doing learning something meant for women."

Estel, who was eves dropping from the bathroom fliched at that. He half expected his ada to roar in anger at that. Nobody slighted the healing art in front of Elrond. Though they were whispering, he could well hear his mothers anger.

Elrond felt a surge of anger at the slight to the art of healing. But he held his anger in check.

"He needs the knowledge of these herbs as much as he needs to weild his sword lady Gilraen. I am merely passing on the greatest gift I can give him. I will not always be there to heal him or for that matter the others of your kind."

"Oh, that childhood disease; he his healthy now and I never did see him affected after that one time."

"That is not the only thing that affects him lady Gilraen. You of all people know that he must live a long and healthy life to fulfill his destiny. And its better he know how to take care of himself and others; for the greatest enemy of the second born is the afflictions of their own body and mind."

"There are others among us who can do that Hir nin."

"And yet he is the only one who blessed with the hands of a healer. Come, my lady, let's not talk about these things here."

Estel heard the echoing foot steps recede down the corridor. He had no idea what destiny they were talking about. He would ask his father in private about it. But there were more pressing matters to consider. "I will not always be there" he had said.

Estel cleaned up and went to Elrond's chamber. Gilraen was no where to be seen but Elrond had that hidden smile which meant that the argument had gone in his favor. For the first time since Gilraen came, Estel dressed up in colors of the house of Elrond and rode with him towards the gushing river.

It was a bright day and the fragrance of spring hung in the air. The unknown distance that had crept between Estel and Elrond slowly faded away. They collected herbs all morning and spoke of ancient medicines and healing techniques. Soon, they were resting after a sumptuous lunch. Elrond was sitting with his back to a tree and Estel was stretched out with his head resting on Elrond's lap. It gave them a kind of peace that they had not indulged in for a long time. Estel had his eyes closed and he was soaking in all the attention he was getting. Sometimes, he doubted if it was worth it to stay so close to Elrond and suffer his heart repressing all the love he wanted to lay at the feet of the great elf; but moments like these always proved to be worth all his heart ache.

"Estel…"

Estel looked up. His father had an unreadable expression.

"We have spoken about it many times Estel, but I have never asked you directly. Are you not interested in anyone?"

Estel tensed; here was a trap he would want to cross without getting caught.

"No ada."

"I am surprised Estel. Men at your age are quiet mature to get married even."

"I am not ada."

"I suppose you can take your time though."

"hun…"

"But is there someone you admire or like."

"I admire a lot of people ada, you the most."

Elrond smiled, Estel was being deliberately obtuse and he knew Elrond knows that.

"Hum, are you not attracted to anyone?"

"No ada."

"Estel, you can tell me. Even if its… not a human or… a woman."

"hun…"

"Estel?"

"Ada, I will tell the truth ada and you must not ask again. It makes me uneasy."

"Okay Estel, I promise."

"I love someone ada, but unfortunately for me, it will never work because that person is already committed to someone else and very happily leading a fulfilling life. Most likely, I will never marry but that wont matter because I already have everything I need to live a happy life ada."

"Estel, who…"

Estel shook his head. "No ada, please do not ask me who it is. I have the deepest admiration for that person and I will never put that person in a spot by revealing my feelings."

"Such love hurts Estel, I don't want you to feel the pains of a yearning heart Estel."

A mysterious smile passed through Estel's sun drenched face.

"There is no pain ada. It doesn't hurt or anything, I may never have something's ada, but I am blessed with so much more."

"Life will not always be like this Estel, I never told you this, but you have a great destiny ahead of you; one that demands that you have someone beside you to lean on to."

"Are you going to leave me ada? Is that why you are training me to be a healer and is that why you are talking about someone sharing my life?"

"Estel, no. You cannot equate my presence in your life with that of a partner."

"Isn't it for me to decide ada?"

"Yes Estel, and it is my responsibility to make sure you lead a happy and fulfilling life."

"Ada, do I look unhappy to you ada. Here and now, do I look like I am yearning? Sometimes, happiness is in bearing that little bit of ache for the happiness of our loved ones."

Elrond couldn't find an answer to that. Estel sounded ancient and in a curious way patient. Somehow Elrond felt that he was the one who was getting a patient explanation from a parent.

"So, are you leaving me ada?"

It had always been a difficult question in the past; one that Elrond always tried to answer reassuringly than honestly. But Estel is a grown man and somehow Elrond was not afraid to answer honestly to this question any more.

"I do not know Estel. We do not know where the Valar will lead us. There may come a time when we have to part, but I will always love you Estel. No matter where you are or what you do, I will always love you and will always watch over you. I will not leave you unless it is necessary for your own good and even then, you can always come back to me whenever you need to."

Estel did not speak a word. He appeared to be thinking and for a minute there Elrond was worried but then he heard a soft "Hannon le ada."

The garden party was in full swing but Estel was too tired. He had just returned from a patrol and would have preferred to rest, but tomorrow his mother and with her the entourage that came with her are all leaving and this was the last party he will be forced to attend in a long while. Despite the cold night air nipping at his skin, he felt light headed and hot under his skin; he hadn't realized that he had drunk so much. Serilian was talking something to him, but he couldn't focus. Realizing that he was too drunk to stay awake any longer, he stood up and started weaving a path towards home, but a hand grabbed him. Serilian was saying something, but all Estel could feel was the tingle her touch sent over his body. He tried focusing but the world swam around him.

He felt a hot body press against him and that sent a thrill through his body, but he wanted to get away as well. He fumbled and pushed but rough hands pushed something towards his nose. He was fast losing consciousness. His breathing was rapid as blood rushed to the most sensitive parts of his body.

"What is going on here?" The voice sent a jolt of lust through his body. Somewhere in the depths of his foggy mind, he cringed in fear for he had seldom heard Elrond use that harsh a tone but the rest of him felt an overwhelming need to hear it again. His body totally disconnected from that little sensible part of his brain decided to follow the direction the voice came from, but strong hands held him back.

"Unhand him now."

Estel was unceremoniously dropped to the ground. A shrill female scream pierced his senses just for a second jolting him to clarity and then everything went black.

The next time Estel woke, the midday sun streamed into his chamber. Elrond was there, with an unreadable expression.

"Ada, what happened ada?'

Elrond did not smile, did not even turn to look at him.

"Get dressed, your mother and I have something to discuss with you"

Estel's heart started to pound hard. He did not realize why until he was almost at the dorrs of Elrond's study. His ada did not call him Estel once since he woke up.


	13. Chapter 13

_Greenleaf's daughter, your request is on the way. _

"He is coming. Hold on just for a little longer my little one." The mother whispered to the young boy on the bed.

"Mama, please tell me his story", the boys voice trembled with the effort and his eyes shone with the raging fever. But he was awake and his mother though exhausted settled down to tell him the story.

"A long while ago, while I was just a young girl in the village of Crone in Gondor, there was a warrior who rode into the city one day. He was fair and tall with broad shoulders and everyone soon realized that he was no ordinary man for he wore an elven robe. No one knew his name and no one dared ask. That night he stayed at your grandfather's inn. I was suffering from a disease that was slowly killing me and no one knew how to save me. But this stranger applied a strange paste made of an unknown herb that cured me in a week. The stranger soon proved to be a warrior as well but he was also kind and he helped the sick and the week. His hands were that of a healer despite holding the sword. He called himself Thorongil, but no one knows his true name."

"He will come mama?"

"Of course my dear one, he will come."

The boy settled into a restless sleep. His fever raged on and the mother went back to that time she had seen the stranger the one and only time. He had been all that she had told her son but there was something about him that made people step back from him. A silent rage pulsed around him almost like an invisible force. His touch had been gentle, but also cold like a stone. His sunken eyes burned with a fever, but he seemed not to care. Her father had been so grateful that he had offered him free boarding and lodging, but the man had refused. He had chopped firewood and managed the one horse her father had. He was restless and brooding but never once spoke harshly to anyone. He kept to himself and seldom talked. He then joined the king of Gondor at that time, Ecthelion's army. The last she remembered, he had ridden out of the city walls like a demon possessed.

"The rangers are here."

The mother looked up and smiled at her husband who had just stepped in with the news.

Their son will survive.

The high gates of Rivendell stood closed, stoic and silent as opposed to scramble and clamor of the throngs of human mass at their feet. The overwhelming smell of sickness was every bit as nauseous as the deafening sound of a hundred souls pleading for mercy. Elrond stood on top of the fort, surveying the clamor outside with keen eyes. Bracing himself for what's to come, he nodded his head. The elves that stood at the gates to regulate the crowd moved forward, but the sheer tide of humanity that swarmed in through the opening gates was no match for them. Elrond without wasting much time joined the others in managing the crowd. Food and medicines were quickly and efficiently distributed but no matter how disciplined the elves were, the humans were not and that was enough to force the elves backwards in sheer pressure. They enveloped Elrond on all sides and it was only the circle formed by Glorfindel and a few soldiers that protected him from the mob.

Just as he made it to the stairs, a hand grabbed him. Elrond turned so see sightless eyes turn up to his face. The disfigured face of the man twisted into a smile but his body was already crashing down in death. Elrond could feel the bones that were holding his wrist tightly chill his blood. Chocked words garbled from the pits of the dying man's throat, "I am sorry ada, see you… one last time."

The scream would have woken every soul in the last homely house if not for the even louder storm that was raging outside. Elrond sat panting and clutching his wrist where the boney hands had grabbed him in his vision.

"Ada! We are stepping in."

Identical twin heads opened the door and stepped in with caution.

"Ada, whats going on?"

"Estel"

Elladan's jaws tightened. Elrohir sat down besides his father and watched on helplessly.

"So what is it this time? Did he die finally?"

"Dan." Elrohir did not sound admonishing, rather resigned. After all, Elladan and Elrond have been at it for years now.

Elrond though seemed to be far away. The nightmares that plagued his sleep were one thing, but this was more like a premonition or even worse a vision. His heart lurched at that. A weariness that had seeped into him over two decades ago finally settled into him like an eternal darkness from which he will never wake up. Even before his body pitched to the side, he was floating in the all consuming darkness.

"By the Valar!" Elladan was quick to reach out and so was Elrohir. Between them, they settled the now unconscious Elrond back on the bed. He was unnaturally still but his breathing was even. Elladan, the better healer of the two, examined him for a few minutes. His face was a study in contrast as anger and worry warred within him. Elrohir was clutching Elrond's hands and was now crying. That more than anything galvanized Elladan to action.

"Get Erestor Ro, be quick."

Glad to have something to do, Elrohir rushed out. Elladan measured the seconds until not only Erestor by Glorfindel as well returned with Elrohir. Before anyone could panic, he said, " He will wake up on his own, if we let him rest. This is not unheard of in elves although it's very rare."

Erestor watched him critically, "Hum, good, at least now, he is not walking around dead."

"We have to do something. This has gone on too long." Elladan was angry beyond measure now but no one was inclined to dispute him. After some thought, he went out and returned with a dark brown bark in his hands.

"Dan! Maybe we should let him rest." Elrohir sounded frantic.

"No Ro, he will be on his guard again. I want some honest answers, not smart ones."

"Elladan, do not be so harsh on your father. He has been suffering worse than us all."

"Don't you think I know that Glorfindel. I want to help him and put an end to all our misery. That will not happen if we just sit around and wait for him to let us help him. As a healer, my father wouldn't allow it and in the same capacity here, neither will I."

Three pairs of eyes stared at him with apprehension. Elladan sighed and sat down, "Ada is in a deep sleep. When an elf is under too much stress but not under threat of physical harm, the body and mind shut down into sleep until recovery. I promise that nothing adverse will happen if I wake him up."

"I think you are right Elladan. Go ahead and wake him up. If he doesn't spit it out even now, I wouldn't mind forcefully confining him to his chambers until he does", Erestor words did not have the least hint of humor.

Elladan brought the herb close to Elrond's nose and sure enough, immediately the elf lord's nose began to twitch.

"I guess there is no rest for an old elf then." The twins stepped back as Elrond sat up slowly.

"How do you feel ada?" Elrohir was at his side immediately.

"I will feel better if your brother puts that away." Elrond said nodding at the herb Elladan was holding.

Elladan took the herb back to the healing chambers while the rest of them settled down.

Elrond's heart fluttered with the remnants of the vision even as he sat back on his bed. The past decade, he had lived with a heart that refused him a moments respite. The constant worry and pain was nothing compared to the yawning abyss of longing that slowly dragged his soul to its depths. He had loved Estel in terms of a child needing him, but only after he had chased away Estel did he realize how much of a companion Estel had become to him. Bitter is the path of those who chose to lead others and that was not only a lesson Estel needed to learn but also Elrond. All that did not matter anyway in the scheme of things now. That burning vision of a hallowed out dying Estel refused to fade from his mind. A gnawing worry began to eat at him, again. But unlike before, a feeling of premonition like a boulder of cold iron settled down inside him. Amidst his raging emotions, Elrond realized one thing though; this was no time to ponder the past or the future.

"Ada?"

Elrond looked up to see that Elladan has returned. Ever since Estel left, relations between Elrond and the twins have fumbled. Elladan seldom came to him without anger and that was how he looked at him now.

"We have to find Estel."

Elrohir stepped forward, as if to ask something, but Elladan stopped him. No one spoke.

"Elladan, I know we have not been on the best of terms ever since Estel left, but his life is in danger now and this is no time for our differences."

Elladan, kept staring. Elrond turned pleading eyes to Glorfindel and Erestor.

"Tell us what happened that night ada, and then we will see."

"Elladan! There is no time for these things now."

"No ada, don't you think we deserve to know the truth. Besides, you waited ten years ada, what are a few more minutes in the grand scheme of things."

"What I saw was not a dream, it was a vision and your brother died at the footsteps on Imladris clutching my hands and say..." Elrond trailed off.

"Saying what ada?"

The burden of what happened the night before Estel left still weighed his heart and he had never thought to share it with anyone.

"You wouldn't want to know Elladan."

Elrohir shook his head. They were wasting time, but Elladan had a point. Somehow the script they are playing out now was written on that day ten years ago and he wanted to know what exactly they are dealing with here.

"Perhaps ada, you can leave it to us to decide. It has eaten away at you for a decade now and perhaps it will be good for all of us to just know the truth."

Elrohir pleaded with Elrond.

"Did you throw him out of his home for the good of Arda?" Elladan smirked with contempt.

"Elladan!"

"Oh please ada, you used him in your political game and when the time was right, just threw him to wolves did you? You did not care if he lived or died for the past ten years, why start now? Oh I get it, it will be child's play to get the support of men through Estel. Afterall, the king of men will gladly eat the dirt at your feet if you let him. Won't he be a nice trophy to the mighty elf lords..."

"Elladan!" Elrond let out a pained sob

"...army. Probably good enough to die on the front. I assure you, you never had to do all this. You could have just asked him to drop dead and he would have. Stupid child, was always blinded by love. If you loved him just a fraction..."

"Stop it. Don't you dare presume to demean the love I have for him" Elrond roared. His eyes burned with an anger that none had ever seen before, but it seeped out just as quickly as it stepped in. Tears trickled down his ancient visage as he whispered, "I love him, I love him more than you will ever know."

Elladan's expression softened, "Will he ever know ada?"

Glorfindel who was watching calmly knelt next to Elrond and held his hand, "We elves are creatures with an immense ability to care for and love others. It is not our way to close of and suffer. Share your pain and let's find Estel together. We may live on forever my friend but Estel as you know is a human."

"Did he profess his love to you Elrond?" Three pair of eyes startled to focus on Erestor. Estel professing his love for Elrond was nothing new, but Erestor's tone indicated something hidden.

"Well, I believe he was drunk enough and foolish enough to go down on his knees and declare that you are the love of his life."

Erestor stood like he was facing a Balrog, all fire and anger mixed a courage that only the suicidal get. But somehow Elrond felt relief. He wasn't sure if he would have had the courage to put things into words, but when someone else did it for him, it felt way easier. He nodded his head in accent.

"Tell us what happened ada." It was Elladan, but at that moment, Elrond would have blurted out the story even if it had been a dwarf asking him.

"Estel was drugged by one of those women who came with Gilraen. The woman and her father planned to seduce him and maybe get her pregnant to force a marriage. But a maid in their camp came to me and revealed the plan. I rushed to the camp just in time to see the father of the girl trying to subdue Estel. I chased them away and brought him here."

Elrond paused. The vision of what happened was vivid in his mind. The memory of Estel's flushed face and clumsy caresses still sent a flush down his neck.

"And?"

"And he kissed me."

Strangely, nothing earth shattering happened.

"Ada, he was drugged and how can you hold…"

"Because it was true Elrohir. He had spoken to me before about an unrequited love and his words even though he was drugged were true."

"You always knew that didn't you Elrond. You knew it would come to that long ago. Was that what made you chase him away or is there more?"

Never before had there been an instance where Elrond couldn't meet Glorfindel's eyes. But there was always a first.

"Nothing happened, I just put him to bed and it the morning told him the truth about his heritage and sent him on his way with his mother."

"Then what is the problem."

"I miss him. There are days when I wish I had been selfish enough to keep him here safe with me."

Elrohir sat down heavily. "I do not know what to make of this."

"I think you can all set this heart-to -heart moment aside and focus on the matter at hand. This waited ten years, it can wait some more. I will get the horses ready" Erestor practical as ever stated his mind and walked off to get things ready for a journey.

"You stay here ada. We will see him safe and return." Elladan's words held a finality to it.

"But…"

"No ada, I think what Dan says is correct. You know we love him ada, as our own flesh and blood and yet I think we are confused. It some how feels like betrayal to mother. I do not think it's in me to condone it. I promise we will see him safe, but for the moment, I think its better you don't meet him."

"You are talking as if I have a part in the issue. Do you even realize how hard it should have been for me, to know that the child I brought up had such feelings for me? I did not ask for any of this."

"We know ada, and still it is as things are now."

"Do you know what he told me once when I asked him about his love? He said that the person belonged to another and he would never say a word about his love for that may hurt the other's family?"

"Its sounds like you are defending him ada; while it was you who threw him out of the house."

"I did not throw him out Elrohir. I did what's needed to save the king of men. I forced him out of here because as long as he remained here, he will have no other life. He will always yearn for what will never be. I only wanted him to go out and find another life and another love."

Elladan took a deep breath, "We love him ada. If he had asked for Morgoth's head, I would have ridden to the ends of Arda to get it for him. But he is yearning for something that is not his. All this while I was angry with you for taking away what I felt was the greatest gift to us. But now I know I would have done the same. Maybe he is somewhere happy now with someone he can love. I wouldn't want him to see you now ada. It's for all our good."

Elrond visibly slumped. "How do you think you will find him now when you couldn't all these years?"

"We were not able to track him these past years, but if what you had is a vision, then we will be able to track him or he will come to us. Seldom has your vision happened without any hope of prevention. And if it's not a vision, it wouldn't matter for now."

It was decided that the twins will track down the Dunedin, while Glorfindel and his team will fan out and search towards Mirkwood. As they set out, Elladan asked Erestor a question that was nagging him.

"If you knew, why didn't you tell us?"

"Who are we to intervene in matters of the heart? I knew what Estel's feelings were, but I didn't want to intrude on the emotions of a young man who was handling it all quiet admirably on his own. As his teacher, I am proud of the discretion, judgment, and courage he showed in facing the consequences of a choice he made with his heart. The next time I see him, I will have to teach him to handle the vises in moderation."

Elladan, wondered what Erestor meant by vises.

"Strider, I suggest you go rest."

The tall brooding man did not turn nor did he pay the speaker any heed.

The man who had just spoken, Danuvadh sighed and moved on. He cursed the day he promised his wife to watch out for this man. He even wondered if the man ever spoke or heard others speak. The dead eyes and wasting body gave him the appearance of a wraith, but not for one moment did he suspect the strength hidden inside the shell of a man. He had seen the same man slay orc after orc like a man possessed with not even a hint of fear or concern. He had also seen the man patiently grind the hardest herbs for hours on end just to get a few drops of some medicine.

He owes his daughters life to this man and he had promised his wife that he will take care of him as much as he can. The rangers are a close knit group and he knew that there should be a reason why such a loner is allowed in their group, but no one knew what that is. The man wouldn't return until late at night. He would then eat if there is something left for him, take his bag and go into the forest. No one knew why the man went alone into the forest, but some say that he did some dark magic before he slept. Danuvadh poured the gruel he had saved for the ranger in a bowl and after much thought, left a portion of his own bread. He then proceeded to eat and go to sleep.

When he woke up though, the food remained where it was. Stepping outside, he saw that there were more sick coming in. In the past few months, there seemed to be an epidemic of a disease he had never seen before. The victims complained of chest pains and fever and proceeded to have difficulty in breathing. Finally, their fever took a strong enough hold to cause hallucinations and eventually, they died of chocking. The collective struggle of over a hundred souls to breath almost pushed him inside, but he braved it anyway and careful not to touch anyone, went looking for Strider.

He found him distributing medicines among the rangers. Danuvadh stood in cue and got some himself. He was familiar with the routine for they have taken their medicines once a week to protect themselves from getting the disease. On closer look, Strider looked ill. His eyes were glazed and his hands shook. But as usual none except for him noticed or probably none asked.

"Strider… Maybe, you should rest now."

For the first time since he had been following around Strider, the man looked up. The hazel eyes were as dead as ever, but there seemed to be a vague recognition in them. Kneeling down, the man pulled out a map and gave it to Danuvadh. He took it, meaning to ask for an explanation later but he never saw Strider again; although, he did need the map to collect the medicines a week later.


	14. Chapter 14

_Once again, I apologize for the delay. The past month has been a very bad one personally. I almost gave up on important things like love and friendship, but this story in many ways reminded me that those of us who sell dreams can save some for ourselves as well. _

_Nothing much happens in this chapter, but I promise the next one I am already working on will cover some major plot issues._

_As usual, all mistakes are mine, thanks to those who send me corrections, I am trying to fix as many as I can post publishing._

* * *

"Tell me Elrond, what do you think is the difference between Smeagol and Bilbo?"

Elrond had just listened to the rings story. Not that it was not interesting; but he wondered why Gandalf would ride all the way to Imladris and narrate the story all over again. After all, they both know that the ring is safe with Bilbo and Smeagol is wandering the wilds, but not really a threat to anyone for the time being.

It was dusk outside. The balcony where they sat was warm and golden in the arms of the benevolent Sun. Elrond could feel no warmth in his heart. He was glad of the company though. Alone with his thoughts was like chatting with Sauron; all taunts and premonitions about the end of human race.

Elrond considered the question. "Smeagol surrendered to the ring, Bilbo keeps the ring but… I guess it does not matter to him more than that."

Gandalf chuckled, "Aye, nothing is greater than mushrooms in a hobbit's mind."

Elrond laughed. He was well aware of the hobbits and their obsession with all things edible.

"Poor Smeagol eh, if he had something as grand as mushrooms to hold on to, maybe we wouldn't have to suffer Gollum."

Elrond looked up to see Gandalf blowing a ring of smoke.

"What are you driving at Gandalf?"

Gandalf took a deep puff of pipe weed and stood up. For a moment there, Elrond believed that his question will go unanswered.

"Just remember Elrond, there are still a few things more powerful than the ring; things that can make a broken man out of the mighty and a king out of a broken man."

Legolas stood by his horse, one hand on his bow and the other calming the horse. The lone figure that staggered towards him looked awful even through the fog. The horse got even more restless, but Legolas was no longer standing near it to comfort. He moved towards the stumbling man and in one graceful move caught him in a hug.

* * *

"Estel… Estel…Estel…"

The man did not hug him back, but held on to him. He stood inside the circle of Legolas' arms made let the elf pet him and push him to sit on the ground.

"Estel… you are not well."

Estel's glazed eyes focused on him and somehow sharpened with a recognition that was lacking a moment before.

"Legolas…help me get home" the voice was barely a whisper.

"But Estel, I think you are… Do you have the camp fever?" Legolas asked stupidly.

"I know. Just… get me home to ada."

"Estel, you are too ill. You have to get treated now. But…" Confusion descended on Legolas. "Why didn't you treat yourself? What are you doing? Trying to kill yourself? It's almost a fortnight's journey to..."

"Legolas!" Estel gripped the flaying elven arms and looked into worried eyes.

"It did not work Legolas. That's why I must go to ada. I must see him one last time."

"What do you mean…Okay, lets get you home. But first, you must eat and rest."

"Legolas..." Estel sounded as if to protest

"Look at you, you don't even have a horse and you can barely walk. Rest Estel; just for an hour. The markets will open in the next village by then and we can get you a horse."

The rest and the Lembas did some good to Estel though he agreed only because Legolas insisted that his horse needed a rest as well. The two friends settled down for a quick rest and Estel almost immediately fell into a deep sleep. Legolas observed him in the quiet afternoon. There was not a sound except for the faint crunching of grass between heavy teeth. There was something off about Estel and he couldn't place what it was. Legolas, just like the twins, had spent over half a decade trying to trace Estel. In the end he had wondered if there was some sort of magic hiding him.

All that changed though when he got a short unsigned message asking him if he would accompany an old friend to his home. The man who had delivered it had spoken about a man called Strider who saved countless lives with both his healing skill and sword; Legolas didn't need the man to say anything else.

Legolas knew that something had happened between Elrond and Estel. Nothing else would force Estel into hiding. He had spoken to the twins but they didn't share with him anything more than the fact that Estel now knew his heritage and had taken his original name Aragorn. He wanted to talk to Estel, but the man looked exhausted and pale with sickness just then. Legolas sighed; no matter how much he wanted to know the truth, the first order of business is to get his friend home alive.

Legolas got up and started breaking camp. Only when he readied to saddle up his horse again did he remember how uncomfortable the horse has been in Estel's presence.

* * *

"Do you think Glorfindel also knew?"

Elrohir turned to regard his brother stretched on the cool grass. He considered the question and then nodded.

"Why didn't they say anything to us? I mean we were looking for him and fighting with ada all these years for an explanation."

"Because, he believed that he should not talk to others about matters of the heart that make sense only to those involved."

Both the brothers turned to see Glorfindel return. Elladan wasn't expecting the balrog slayer to walk into their discussion, but then he had, and the twins wanted answers.

"That sounds suspiciously like turning a blind eye." Elladan quipped.

"Only, if what was happening was a crime."

Elrohir could feel his brother's anger surge; after all he felt the same way.

"And this wasn't? I didn't expect you of all people to hold such low morals. But then again, unlike us, you wouldn't know much about familial bonds."

Even before he finished, Elrohir realized he made a grave mistake in uttering those words.

"How dare you!"

Glorfindel's hands flew to his sword in rage. Elladan stepped in between them even as Elrohir dropped to his knees.

"Forgive me, Glorfindel."

For a moment, they all stood stock still. Then Glorfindel relaxed his stance shaking his head.

"I did not expect this from you two."

Elrohir hung his head in shame. And Elladan could find nothing appropriate to say.

"What is it that's putting you both in a rage? Is it the fact that he is practically your brother or that no matter what he will never be your brother?"

Elladan looked up with startled eyes.

"Or is it anger at Estel for asking for something that is your mother's?"

Elrohir sat down in frustration. "I don't know Glorfindel. I don't know what it is, but it just feels so wrong and I cannot help but feel that Estel knew that it is wrong and still did it knowing very well it will break us all apart."

"He did?"

The silence that followed was even longer this time. Dusk was setting in and the cicadas began their chant. But the three elves scarcely noticed the cold breeze or the distant restless neighing of their horses.

At length Elladan mumbled. "He didn't."

"But he thought about it." Elrohir finished standing up.

"And brave enough to bury it in him and live life with joy as given to him."

"Joy by secretly watching ada and dreaming of him." Elladan sounded disgusted.

"Well, you can call it love and let your father choose what he wants."

The twins remained silent to that.

Glorfindel gave a thin smile. "When the Valar asked me to come back to Arda, I was afraid. I told him that I was not as brave as he assumes and that in the end, I didn't save those I should have. Do you know what he said? Courage is not just the headlong rush you ride with into battle knowing your enemy will lose or not knowing at all. It is that strength of the heart that makes you stand and fight knowing very well you will perish without saving what you are fighting for. In all the years I have lived after, I never thought of a family because I knew that nothing and no one will be more important to me than protecting your family. It is my tribute to your father for his courage to go on and still love when life, even after several millennia, is yet to prove to him that he will be loved by someone just for what he is."

The twins listened, deep in thought. In all the years they have known Glorfindel, he was never one to explain or lecture. Only now did they realize that it was not because of a lack of understanding or awareness about things around him.

"Mother loved our father Glorfindel."

"I know Elladan. We all love each other in various degrees. Your mother loved your father, but not as much as he loved her."

There was a slight tinge of bitterness in Glorfindel's words that surprised the twins.

Glorfindel went on, "You do know what they say about love right. 'If you truly love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it is yours.' Your mother… she never came back."

"Glorfindel, mother was injured, we saw her battered, bleeding and almost dead…"

Elrohir sounded like a drowning man clutching at straws.

"And after all this time, she is yet to heal? I saw your father beating at his chest and screaming at the skies asking why he was not fit to love and be loved, why he was not good enough for her to come back. I saw him slowly kill his yearning and accept that he was one of those who are simply not meant to be loved. I am not blaming your mother mind you. All I am saying is that your father deserved so much more."

"But this is not about our mother Glorfindel. It's about Estel."

"Yes, and no matter how wrong you may see it. I am grateful to him because the moment he opened his little arms and wound them around your father; I saw hope bloom inside that battered heart of his."

"We know that Glorfindel. I speak for both Elrohir and me when I say that despite all this, we still cannot stop loving him. He was our light when we were fumbling in darkness and drowning in our sorrow. But what he is asking for now…"

"Again, think, did he ask for anything? You cannot tell someone not to feel. But to his credit he did not act on his feelings. He settled for what was given to him rather than ask for what he wanted and there in lies the difference. He merely gave his love. What is so wrong about that?

"It is wrong when that love is not welcomed."

"Oh Valar, it may not be welcomed but it is accepted. Have you been to Purvion lately? The way your father practically lives in that garden says something."

"Probably he is just yearning for Valinor"

"You have seen before how your father has ignored unwanted affection. If he did not realize and in some way reciprocate Estel's feelings, Estel will still be in Imladris and your father will still see him as his son. Your father you see is afraid, he is afraid to love and afraid to want. And the self sacrificing fool he is, he still believes that he has done a great favor to Estel by sending him out to the world."

Elladan made a disgusted sound. Glorfindel smiled.

"You will see ion. There is a power to love that even the Gods cannot match. And when it blooms in its true form it is so divine and so far greater than lust and want that it will make you kneel and surrender."

"And Estel's feelings for our father is love?"

"Time will answer that, nothing for either of you to worry now."

It was dark by then and they were yet to set camp. Glorfindel left the twins to their thoughts and went in search of something to hunt for dinner. He had looked for Estel high and low, but there has been nothing to track. But something told him that the next two days are going to be eventful.

* * *

"Estel, Estel….oh Valar, wake up."

Legolas was standing next to Estel's horse shaking the human who seemed to have slept on his horse. With elven strength, he dragged him down and laid him stretched on the ground. He felt for Estel's pulse which was faint but steady. However, the distended abdomen and the heat radiating from his body was not a very good sign and Legolas didn't know what to do.

"Ada…"

The soft mumbled whisper galvanized Legolas into action. He moved his pack and roll to the horse they bought in the village two days ago and then he lifted Estel onto his own horse. The horse neighed and stepped away, but Legolas persisted. He then mounted behind Estel and rode off like the wind hoping that the other horse will keep up.

A sense of foreboding seized Legolas even as it started to rain half way. Legolas couldn't help but feel that the rain was unnatural. But he couldn't pause enough to understand what is causing the rains. Like a soaked wet rag, Estel rested limply on his chest reminding him of every second that passes by. He was just a day away from the borders on Imladris, but the rain threatened to stop him mid way and seek shelter. Just as he was wondering what to do, three horse riders appeared on his flanks.

"There is a cave on the other side of the range."

Legolas didn't even pause to thank Glorfindel. He just diverted to the left off the main path and halted in front of the cave. Estel was completely unconscious and Glorfindel had to carry him inside. The twins followed him while Legolas brought the horses into the shelter within the cave as much as he can.

"How long has he been unconscious Legolas?'

Elladan was already checking on Estel while Elrohir was getting a dry blanket from a corner. Glorfindel was setting up a fire.

"Just a few hours before you joined us."

"Hum…"

"There are boils starting at his back. It's camp fever, but he is not supposed to get it and even if he does…"

"He should have treated it himself. All I know is that it didn't work. Estel said so. He also said he has to get home to Elrond." Legolas finished for Elladan.

"We… we will treat him Legolas."

"What do you mean we will treat him? We have to take him to your father and we have to do it fast. We are just a few hours from the borders."

"I know Legolas, but let's just say it's not wise for Estel to meet ada now."

Legolas stood stunned.

"Your brother is dying! And you are telling me you won't take him to the one person who can save him!"

"Legolas, calm down. I will treat him…"

"Don't you understand!" Legolas shouted loud enough to get even the horses' attention..

"There is something else going on here. His treatment did not work. He said that he wants to see his ada one last time. Now if you decide to let him die, do me a favor and move aside. I know how to save my friend."

Elladan took a deep breath. Deep down, he knew what Legolas said was true. Estel was not even supposed to get infected by something like camp fever. Checking Estel once again, he came to a conclusion and looked up to his twin.

Elrohir nodded in agreement.


	15. Chapter 15

The thunder clouds rolled just outside the gates of Imladris. But not a drop fell within the realm itself, thanks to its Lord and wielder of Vilya.

Elrond stood on the tallest tower overlooking the gates, deep in thought. He was wondering how many more times he will have to stand in the same spot awaiting the return of one or more of his children.

As if on cue, he could see riders from the far horizon of the North, one of them carried a prone figure that flopped like a rag doll. He had no doubts as to who that was. With a deep sigh, he rushed down the tower to the entrance. The healing chambers were made ready a day ago and Chunwe had not left since then. For some reason, Elrond's memory lurched to Celebrian's last days at Imladris. Shaking himself from his thoughts, he rushed down the stairs, when the vision hit him.

"Something is wrong."

"What do you mean?" Legolas asked

"The closer we get to Imladris, the more I feel his body withering."

"Withering?" Legolas asked.

"I can feel him getting weaker. His body is… losing weight I think."

"Dan, stop! Just stop Dan!" Legolas shout barely made it over the pouring rain, but Elladan was stopping anyway.

Glorfindel and Elrohir eased Estel down and Legolas hastily moved his horse and threw a thick sac between his and Elladan's to make a shelter. Elladan helped to move the horses enough to get enough room between them.

In the dim light, Estel looked pale, but what really scared the four warriors around him was his sunken eyes and stretched skin. It looked as if something was sucking the life out of him.

Estel moved though, his hazel eyes blinked open and started into the distance, he started muttering something.

Elladan was not one prone to fear, but just the sight of the papery white skin and the sunken eyes made his heart beat in fear. One look at Elrohir and he knew his twin was afraid too. They had never wanted Estel to die, over the decades, when they spoke about him, they had only assumed that he was happy somewhere. Even when they knew the truth behind Estel's departure, they still had only wanted him to be happy elsewhere.

"I think there is something out here."

Legolas shouted over the rain. "This is not natural. There is no rain inside the borders of Imladris."

What Legolas said was true. Glorfindel stood up and pulled out his sword.

"Who ever you are, step out and answer to our blade?"

The only sound was the pouring rain that valiantly attempted to drown out the horses' neighing restlessly.

"Ada…"

"I know, he will be able…" Glorfindel trailed off as his eyes caught sight of the Lord of Imladris riding out towards them.

The world narrowed to the roar of the rain. But there was an insistent buzz in his head that threw images of happier times in his mind. His mother's face, a small kitten, little legs that flew through a meadow, a horse, a deep brown wooden bow, a smooth stone…

But there was something missing. It was all hidden somewhere and they were straining to break free, but like a dam holding back the force of a river, all he could see was a blank wall and none of the hidden things. All the while, his mind's eye threw him bits and pieces of incomplete memories that only made him desperate to find the missing parts.

Somewhere deep down, his body warned him that it was in trouble, but he ignored it and kept searching and struggling. For reasons he could not understand, he thought that he has to see the full picture at least once before his body cracked.

And then he heard it. A voice as familiar as his own and yet long forgotten.

"Estel!"

That voice broke the dam and the memories rushed over him in a tide of sights and sounds drowning him like a rag doll caught at sea. He couldn't breath and his gasps grew more desperate. Just as he thought that his burning lungs would burst from the pressure, the tide receded and his vision cleared. He heard that voice again and turned towards that beloved face he had been unworthy of for more than a decade. It was creased with worry but was as magical as ever. He wondered if it was a dream. With all his strength he raised his boney hands hoping that even if it was, the apparition will understand what he wants just as the original had all those years ago.

The apparition did, and in a moment strong hands wound over him and pulled him close. The warmth enveloped him in an instant, the smell spoke of home and the hands assured him of safety. Finally, his soul sighed in peace. He knew this heaven and he knew its name.

"Ada…"

He murmured into wet but soft fabric and finally let go and fell into nothingness.

Glorfindel wondered if there was a reason why death was formless. He would have gladly cut it down if it meant Estel would live. Glorfindel knew that Estel would die some day. But this was not the death meant for him.

He knew that something vile was still lurking around them and he wanted to find it and grind its skull to a pulp under his foot.

Rage, they say, blinds a man, but for a warrior as old as the Balrog slayer, it only sharpens his senses and gives him strength. He trusted his instincts and launched himself into the depths of the forest in search of something to kill. Estel is dead, but he would get his warriors revenge even if it's the last thing Glorfindel did on Arda.

Legolas knew the exact moment when Estel died. That deep content whisper of a name sounded like relief on his friends lips.

He felt numb. He wondered why even the rain smelt of grief. Despite understanding the distinct possibility of Estel not surviving in the end, he had not accepted it. A profound sense of pity rose in his throat for the creature that held Estel's dead body and screamed in agony.

Legolas let his tears mix with the rain and wash away into the mud but no matter how much he wished to, the scene in front of him did not change. There was something so unfair in Estel's death and Legolas felt his heart harden piece by piece. If there was no hope for hope himself, who is he to believe in it for Arda and himself.

He did not want to remember his friend as the husk of a man he had protected the last few days. Instead he thought of a little boy and his innocent childish babble about his family. He thought of a warrior who fought for honor and a man who loved true till the end.

_One day while walking down the road to Bree, Elladan saw a man. Elrohir had gone to get a room, while Elladan took care of their horses. Gandalf stood by him smoking his pipe and deep in thought. A man silently sat by a garden and watched the dusk with a kind of reverence that people generally reserve for the Gods._

_"You know the last time I came here, the man was still there." Gandalf said by way of conversation._

_"Hum, why is he sitting here?"_

_"Lost his wife to some disease a year ago it seems. Ever since, he just sits there and watches the garden she loved so much."_

_"Ah! The power of love." Elladan commented._

_Gandalf gave him a curious look and then snorted._

_"Stupidity I would say. He just sits here while his poor girl sells herself on the streets to feed her lazy grieving father. It's never a good thing to keep someone around once they are gone."_

He asked himself why did he remember that. Elladan looked at his hands and wondered if they would ever stop smelling of Estel's death. He couldn't forget how badly he had treated Estel the last time he spoke. He couldn't forget that in his loyalty to a mother long gone, he had killed his own brother.

How could he throw away the boy he raised? How could he abandon that sweet young man who brought light into their lives? How could he hate his brother?

He sluggishly wondered that he wished so hard to keep Estel away that he unconsciously wished for his death.

He wondered if he killed the future of Arda just by unknowingly wishing it.

Madness shouldn't feel so exhilarating. Elrohir laughed. How foolish and how petty had they been to take Estel's mortality for granted? He had known deep inside that Estel will never be happy without Elrond. But selfishly he had wanted to keep him away just until the distance dulled the man's obsession for Elrond.

He had imagined countless scenes where he would stand with his twin by his side as their father spoke the holy lines that will bind Estel to some woman. He had never imagined burying Estel and by the looks of it, his father along with him.

The thought shook him to the core and brought him out of his moment of insanity. He had to do something, he can't loose them both. The world will not survive it, He and Elladan will not survive it.

But one look at Elrond and he knew that this time, there was no Hope to save their father.

He had always liked Estel's eyes, but now he would never see them again. He wanted to push his father away and try and see Estel's eyes, but his father no longer looked like his father.

And then began the heart wrenching screams that tore his heart in grief.

Some truths are so simple and mundane that they tend to get buried under tons of things that eventually coat that one simple truth in layers of perceptions and beliefs. Like a fog finally lifting off in the face of the Sun, Elrond felt the truth about his relationship with Estel emerge.

Estel loved him.

Like any child who expresses his love in any which way he can, Estel has concocted his own mix of ways to offer his love to the object of his affection.

Even as he gently but swiftly pulled the dying man into his arms, he shocked himself into another truth by accepting what he knew all along. He loved Estel.

Elrond had foreseen the death of Estel, the minute he was brought across the threshold of the Northern gates. He was not sure what was going on, but one thing he knew. The minute Estel entered Imladris his soul will leave its shell. His visions were seldom wrong and that thought had driven him out to a horse and onwards to the Northern boarders of Imladris. But even staying out had not helped. Pulling his son close to his chest, he could feel the last breath of the man released in a whisper of the same name that he had spoken countless times when alive.

The ache in Elrond's heart broke into a scream that shook the forest. The grief of an elf is an ugly sight. Stripped of the grace, beauty and light that spoke of the divine touch, Elrond grieved like only a half elf can. Some distant part of his mind wondered how it was possible for his old foolish heart to show its true color only now when everything was lost. But the rest, screamed at the Gods in the language of grief.

Something built deep within his soul and raged so vicious and he knew that when it found its release, his body will not bear. One last time he kissed the forehead of the boy who loved him forever. Then he closed his eyes, held the ravaged body in his arms tight against him and surrendered.


	16. Chapter 16

_I am, terribly sorry, to all those who are reading this. I am not happy with this chapter, coz I wrote it in a great hurry. But I am traveling for the next two weeks and didn't want to push it off for too long. This chapter may sound like the end, but…_

She hated them when they gave her trouble. Ungrateful little souls that just refused to let go when their time is up. And this nasty little one had actually had the gal to split into three.

"Stupid, filthy, mortal souls! Stupid Gods and their schemes" She muttered and kept pulling in irritation but the grey threads remained taut. She rolled her eyes and pasted a serene smile on her face. She then turned around to do what she has to do. She hated sweet talking at this stage, but she had no choice.

Glorfindel had seen some bizarre things in his life time and that included the most disgusting slime dripping off a smirking balrog. But nothing compared to what he saw now. A beautiful maiden knelt down on the muddy ground and was softly singing to a little boy. What made it bizarre was that the rain seemed to make her glitter like a million diamonds and the boy she was talking to was a little Estel, pale dirty and almost ghost like, but still Estel.

The boy watched her entranced but he did not step forwards when she took a step back.

She sighed and looked down at him, "I promise I will take you to your father and mother Estel. They are waiting for you."

"Oh! No you won't." Glorfindel for the life of him couldn't understand what was going on, but he knew that he couldn't let this Estel go, even if the Gods demanded.

Both the woman and Estel turned.

"Glorfindel!" the little boy smiled and ran towards him with a big smile, but half way through he tripped and fell. It took a while for Glorfindel to understand why but then he noticed the gray threads that the woman held. To his surprise, he saw that there were two more threads that led to two more Estels: one was an Estel that around 20 who sat huddled on the ground with his knees drawn up. He had the saddest look about him. The other was about Estel's current age and sat leaning on a tree. What worried Glorfindel was the oldest Estel, seemed to be unconcerned and was behind the woman. His attention though turned to the young Estel who was silently crying where he lay.

"Ungrateful urchin" The woman screamed and started pulling back the young Estel though he was lying face down on the mud.

That settled the matter for the warrior, no one but an evil hearted witch would ever do that to a child.

"Um, you are famous Balrog slayer, but this is not your business, this cute button here has business with my higher ups. So let this be." The woman's melodic voice cut through the rain but she did not pause in dragging back Estel.

Glorfindel drew his sword and charged forward. The woman rolled her eyes, and then snarled letting go of the threads. She drew her sword as well.

With one look at Estel who was slowly getting up, "run to the front Estel," he commanded and charged at the ethereal being with the sword.

"Dan! Ro!, stop it both of you. Pull yourself son's of Elrond." Legolas shouted over the pouring rain.

Elrohir turned around slowly, his eyes dull and swimming in tears.

"We didn't want this; no we didn't want any of this."

"I know, but this is not the time, we have to do something."

Elladan sucked a beep breath, his voice shook, "What do you suggest prince? Hum, what is there for us to do more?"

Their gaze turned to Elrond, hunched protectively over Estel's withered body. He kept petting the dead man's head and talking to him.

"You never did allow me to apologize to you for anything did you. Well this time I will come with you. I will get my chance to say how sorry I am my heart. Sleep now, ada will be there soon. I love you my little boy, I will be with you soon."

"Elladan…"

"What? What do you want us to do? Isn't it just punishment for what we did?"

Legolas walked up to the Elrondion and soundly slapped him.

"Snap out of it or you will have nothing left."

"Estel…"

Both Elladan and Legolas turned to Elrohir who stood shock still as if he had seen a ghost. In a moment they realized why.

"Estel…"

The little boy waited at the edge of the clearing. His gaze fixed on Elrond clutching his own older self.

Cautiously, Legolas took a step forward.

"I am dead Lelas?"

The old name brought fresh tears to Legolas' eyes.

"You have to come back Estel."

Elrohir begged.

"You didn't want me, the other Estel told us. He said he heard you saying you didn't want me. You didn't want me near ada."

"We are sorry Estel, We are very, very sorry. We only wanted what was good for both of you."

"How can it be good for me without ada?"

None had an answer to that. The boy gazed at Elrond.

"I don't want ada to come with me. I would love that but I don't want him to." Estel said sadly.

Elladan took one more step forward. An idea formed in his. Estel's greatest weakness was his family

"It's okay Estel. We will all come with you where you go." It wasn't a total lie; right then Elladan felt like he was holding himself by a feather stuck to the side of a cliff.

"You don't have to."

Elrohir seemed to catch on and he replied saying, "But we want to."

Little Estel frowned and looked at the ground.

"Listen Estel, ada is already coming with you. Without you and ada, we don't have anything left to stay here."

Little Estel peeked out at them from under his wavy hair. He then stepped in front of Elladan slowly and then suddenly kicked at Elladan's foot. Even before the surprised elf uttered an 'ouch' Estel did the same to Elrohir and hid behind Legolas.

"That's for hurting me when I... is… um… big." He frowned.

The twins could only gawk at him but Legolas was laughing. Estel looked up at the blond elf and with a beaming smile said, "thank you Lelas for being my bestest friend."

Legolas knelt down and said, "I love you Estel, so does your family. We want you with us alive. Tell us what to do."

Estel looked down at his foot again and mumbled, "I wouldn't mind coming with you. I know ada and you all love me, the next Estel will also come back I think if you talk to him, but the eldest is angry. He is so scary. But he is hurt."

"We will talk to him Estel, we are very sorry and we will do anything to get you back Estel." Elladan pleaded.

"We shouldn't meet here. If I get strong here, then I will disappear soon. You come and get me here Dan, Ro? Will ada come?" Estel pointed to his heart and questioned.

"But…" Legolas protested.

"I know what to do Legolas." Elladan said with determination in his eyes.

"I am scared Dan, but you will come and find me even if I hide right?" Estel said in a small voice already shaking with fear.

"We promise Estel, we promise."

Estel gave them a brave smile and flickered away.

"Ro, Legolas we must get ada."

Glorfindel wondered at the strength of the being he was fighting. The creature was powerful, but the more it fought, the more it shed the look of a woman and became something else. It looked ancient and beyond anything he had seen.

"I don't have time for this warrior. Step down before your head roles. I am here only for the mortal."

"Don't strain your heart of gold on my account. You are not taking him."

"Urgh! Fool!" the creature raised its sword with a viciousness that brought Glorfindel to his knees.

It was only for a moment, but Glorfindel saw a symbol in the sword he had seen a long time ago. He stowed the thought away and forced the creature back with his own immense strength.

"Dragging a Balrog for over a mile has its benefits you know."

"Ada! Ada, we can save Estel."

Elrohir's voice didn't seem to get through Elrond though. They tried to shake Elrond out of his madness for quiet a few precious minutes but nothing seemed to help.

Legolas shook the older elf but Elrond continued to rock back and forth with Estel.

All three elves turned on hearing horses to see Erestor and Chunwe riding in. Erestor dismounted and strode quickly towards them.

"What's going on here? Legolas?"

Legolas quickly narrated what happened to Erestor while Chunwe knelt next to the brothers and tried looking at Elrond.

"Step aside!" Erestor barked once he had heard enough.

He quickly strode to Elrond, then in one swift move, pulled out Estel's body from the Lord's arms.

Elrond screamed and tried to grab Estel back but Erestor pushed him with one hand while holding on the Estel with the other. Grief had weakened Elrond and he fell on his back. Erestor towered over him.

"You are many things Elrond, but never one who shuns his responsibilities. You have a duty to save your son; you owe it to yourself and all of us who have put up with this charade for long enough."

Elrond blinked at him.

"Get up Lord of Imladris, you lost once but you will not lose again, fight for what is yours and you can win it. Shed your doubts and trust in love, it will bless you with the greatest gift yet."

Erestor's in that moment sounded like a divine Oracle of great power.

Elrond shook as if he was only now realizing where he was and what he was doing. But then slowly, the healer in him came to the fore and the three young elves rushed to him with a sigh of relief.

"We met Estel ada. He is waiting for us." Elrohir hugged his father even as he told him what little Estel had said.

Love can make someone weak or strong. It depends on how much hope one has left. Deep down, Elrond knew that Estel will not refuse him anything if only he asked. He had been afraid to use the powers Estel gave over himself, but like all great beings, there comes a time when power has to tamed into the confines of reason and love. That moment where he sat in the rain with empty arms was it for Elrond.

"Hold my hand my sons; we have something precious to recover."

It was dark again, and the horses still rode on. The arms holding him were strong, but they were scary too. Just as the boy was starting to cry, the horses slowed. The hands then dropped him in front of a huge dark castle. The little boy scrambled up the stairs with his tiny hands and knees and made it to the door. It was very dark inside and he couldn't see anything, but he knew something important was there inside.

Blinking back his tears, the boy took courage in the promise of brothers that echoed in his head and stepped in. The door closed behind him.

"Where are we to look for them?"

"They should all be here somewhere"

"Hir nin…" Legolas said uncertainly.

"When I meant sons, I meant you as well Legolas, for without you, we would have lost Estel long ago."

Legolas bowed in front of Elrond who seemed to glow with a special light in the place.

"Thank you, lord. I will do everything to help you find Estel."

Elrond smiled and then spoke, "I know where each one of them will be. Come with me."

First they went to the healing chambers.

"Estel, ada is here for you Estel."

There was not a sound and they could see no one.

"How do you know he is here ada?"

"This is where he almost died for me the first time. This is where that child's heart gifted me with the greatest gift of all, his love."

Legolas went up to the cupboard and gently opened it. Sure enough little Estel was huddled inside it asleep. Legolas gently picked him up.

Elrond brushed the baby soft hair off the child's face and kissed his forehead once. Then they moved on.

Where they went next was a no contest.

The minute they stepped into Purvion Estel as a young man slowly walked up to them. He waited uncertainly in front of them.

Elladan and Elrohir both stepped up to him and hugged him tight. The sad eyes of the man swam with relief even as his body shook with grief. The twins didn't let him go until he had calmed down. Then they brought him to Elrond.

Elrond kissed him gently for a moment on his lips and folded him in his arms.

Elrond then turned to Legolas and said, "Take them with you to safety for the next will be a challenge. I want them safe."

Legolas nodded and left bearing the child and the man who trailed behind him.

Next they went to Elrond's room.

"Estel" Elrond called.

Again there was no response. Elrond slowly walked up to his bed and slowly pulled it aside. The oldest Estel was curled under the bed.

But when Elrond tried to touch him, the man snarled.

"Estel?"

"Don't call me that, I am Aragorn."

So saying, the man disappeared. Elrond and the twins went in search of Estel outside, where Estel had once won Elrond's honor.

"No!"

The creature tried to reach for the ropes that where shimmering silver and disappearing, but Glorfindel sensed his chance. He thrust hard with his sword at the creature's heart pinning it to a sturdy tree.

The remnants of the beautiful woman morphed into something that was neither male nor female but a creature of pure spirit. Its eyes glowed red and its skin almost disappeared, but it laughed.

"Not what I expected warrior, but a fitting beginning to a game of the Gods."

"What…"

But the creature has already disappeared and with that the rain had stopped and the sun shone, throwing the entire forest into a glittering mass of tiny pearls.

The sword arched at him precise and with force.

"I was just a pet to you wasn't I. You played with me till I became this ugly mutt and then you chased me away."

Elrond defended again

"I wish I could kill you."

The blow fell harder and Elrond's hands shook with the force.

"I wish I am not this ugly human."

Just after two blows, Estel was tiring. Elrond thought about the irony of it. This was the same place on the practice fields where Estel fought a cunning elf with a hidden blade for Elrond. And here he was fighting Elrond himself years later. Estel was getting slow, and Elrond the father wondered if it would be better to disarm Estel before he hurt himself, but the healer knew better.

Once more Estel heaved and Elrond defended.

"I wish I was never born."

"I wish I had no destiny"

"I wish…"

Estel was no longer steady. He just wildly swung his sword. Tears and sweat flew on all sides as he turned violently with no grace.

"I wish I never…"

"Never what Aragorn, never came to Imladris, never met me, never knew your brothers, never what?" Elrond asked calmly.

Estel looked startled. He stared at Elrond as if he was seeing him for the first time. Like a cool marble bust that shattered to a million pieces when it hit the hard ground, his mask of anger shattered and his face shaped into despair. The sword fell from his trembling hands and he dropped to the ground. He let his head drop and the mop of wild hair that was wet with sweat fell around his face like dust settling down.

There was only silence. Elrond cautiously went up to the broken man.

"If you really wish you could kill me. Here I am Aragorn. I will honor you with a fair fight and a fair chance to draw blood, as many times as it takes for you to get your wish."

A low rumble emerged from Estel, somewhat puzzling Elrond, until it grew into a full fledged laughter. Estel threw his head back and laughed aloud like a mad man who found the world amusing. He shook his head as he calmed down and fell back exhausted on his back.

Elrond sat next to him, so much wanting to just pull Estel close to his chest and close out the world, but knowing he can't do that just yet.

"I wish…"

"Yes, Aragorn, what do you wish."

"For the love of Eru, stop… just stop, stop calling me Aragorn." Estel shouted, startling Elrond. "When did you decide I am Aragorn?" he demanded.

"When you told me so yourself" Elrond replied.

Estel laughed again, "Of all the things I have said, you choose to believe this. The one lie I uttered."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Afterall this time, here I am marred with time and you still look like the same piece of heaven that saved me all those years ago."

Estel laughed again.

"Why is it that I can trust you with my soul and you can't even trust me to know what I want?"

Elrond sighed. No matter how much he wished otherwise, he knew he had to settle some things once and for all with Estel then.

"Becasue it is not the way of Arda... . Look at it from my point of view Estel. How can I allow a child I brought up to waste away at my feet?"

"I gave you a decade to fly away from me and still here we are, in the same place we were the first day I met you. I can understand Estel coming back to me again and again. But Aragorn? Why?"

"Because Aragorn is nothing without Estel and Estel is nothing without you".

Elrond did not move. He simply watched the strange man in front of him, waiting to see if the boy he knew would ever emerge.

"I could never become him. All these years when I roamed the wild, some people used to call me that. But it never made sense to me, however hard I tried. I knew I was her son, when mother used to call me that, but…she is dead and I wish I could bury the name with her."

Tears were running down the sides of Estel's face, but he seemed not to notice. With his eyes focused on the clear blue sky above he spoke in whisper.

"I want to wish I never came here, I want to wish I don't love you….but… I can't. I only wish to have my family back, to have my brothers look at me with pride. I just wish…."

Elrond couldn't hold back any more, the wound has been scratched out to rawness and the poison squeezed out. Now was the time to use the salves and heal. He gently wiped away the tears and let his fingers whisper over the soft curls.

"I just wish you will love me." Estel chocked.

From the deepest bowels of his own self, Estel pulled out one more wish that squeezed the elf's heart, "I just wish you will call me Estel, so that I can call you ada again."

Centuries later if someone had asked Elrond if there was one thing he would like to have never happened, this moment would be it. He understood how arrogant he had been in assuming that everything in the world can be put in two boxes labeled right and wrong. After centuries of living, only now he understood that some things are just there and putting them in either of the box would be foolish. He had done that with Estel and sadly, it was Estel who has lost over a decade of his life. He did not know how he can ever make amends, but he intended to start with a name and try till the end of their days.

"Estel."

Watery hazel eyes regarded him, as if to check if he heard it right. Elrond held his breath; after all he had been under its scrutiny quiet often when a young Estel gave him that look to judge if his ada really meant it when he promised a picnic the next day.

"Ada" Estel cried and in a moment, Elrond had his arms full of a sobbing Estel.

"Forgive this old fool Estel, I am sor…" a rough and grubby hand closed over Elrond's lips.

"Its okay ada." Elrond heard the words from some where down his shoulder and smile. Trust Estel to forgive him over 10 years of hurt in 10 minutes. He gently pulled the hand into his own for he had something very important to say.

"I love you Estel, no matter what happens in the future, remember that. Do you know I was about to fade when you died? Your brothers risked their life not only to save me, but you as well. We need you… I need you as much as you need us. So don't you ever sell your soul or do something stupid like that ever again."

There was no sound for a second but then he felt the head leaning on his shoulder nod. It was quiet a while before the twins appeared. They looked askance at him. Elrond gave them a smile and nodded, the first they have seen in a long time. Then Elladan picked up the swords while Elrohir lifted a now sleeping Estel in his arms allowing Elrond to get up. They walked back home talking quietly with each other about a possible treatment plan for Estel that Elladan thought might work.

If they all noticed each other eyes obsessively coming back to the figure slumbering in Elrohir's arms, they did not speak of it.

It was time for all of them to go home.


End file.
